I've tried not to write very much about this but if you're a person who talks to me on a fairly regular basis then you've heard what I'm about to write.
For the last six months Branden has worked the 3PM to midnight shift. Since I work mostly morning shifts this has limited the amount of time we have been able to spend together. Since I'm usually off work on Sunday, I've been able to stay up late Saturday nights to see him after he gets off work. I've been able to see him for a few hours on Sunday before he leaves for work. If I was closing on Tuesday- I usually do- then I could stay awake and see him for about half an hour Monday night and would stay up again Tuesday night since I was off work on Wednesday. He was also off work on Wednesday so I'd see him all day and again after I got off work on Thursday.
And then there was Friday, the worst day of the week. Almost every Friday morning for the last six months has found me fully dressed, ready to walk out the door, but sitting on the edge of the bed dragging out my good-bye to Branden... A good-bye he almost never remembers. If there's a morning that I'm going to steal a few extra kisses, it's Friday. If there's a morning that I'm going to hug his sleeping body longer, it's Friday. If there's a morning that I'm going to try to get a real response from him, it's Friday. And what's so different about Friday? It's the one day during the week that I know the only time I'll spend with Branden is the morning good-bye. I won't lie to you, I'm pathetic. More than once I have cried on my way to work on a Friday morning.
I am fully aware of the fact that there are women out there who have military husbands gone for many months at a time. My dad worked international business for much of my young childhood and he and my mom would go weeks without seeing each other and didn't even get to talk every day. I will tell you now, those other women are stronger than I am. I don't know how they do it but they deserve a giant hug for figuring it out. Branden is my best friend and, aside from coworkers, he's the only person I see on a regular basis... And I'm a pathetic, lonely mess without him.
But Fridays won't be bad days anymore! Branden's shift is changing at the beginning of next week. He'll work noon to 9 PM and his days off will be Friday and Sunday. We'll still get a day off together most of the time and I will see him EVERY NIGHT! This is the last Friday that I'll spend the entire evening alone. :)
Friday, May 28, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Summer Is Pretty Much Here
The heat and humidity have officially come to stay. We turned on our air conditioning for the first time a couple weeks ago, but these last two days have been the first that we've kept it on day and night. Our apartment is an oasis of cool but the moment we walk out the door we feel the heat.
I've been driving Branden's car and he's driving mine- there's a reason for this but it's a long story I may tell after things are figured out. His car has air conditioning but mine doesn't. I feel a little guilty about this. Next week his schedule changes, though, so he won't be driving in the worst heat of the day anymore. If things get sorted out, he'll be back to driving his car in a little while. To tell the truth, I kinda miss my little car, even if it doesn't have a/c. His car is a 1998 Crown Victoria... A boat in comparison to my tiny Nissan.
I love the green of St. Louis but I don't love the humidity. Oh, well, I am here so I may as well make the best of it. I'm looking forward to all the fun summer things we'll do and may even manage to post more blogs with pictures. Speaking of which, I need to post some of our trip to Grant's Farm... Maybe tomorrow. :P
I've been driving Branden's car and he's driving mine- there's a reason for this but it's a long story I may tell after things are figured out. His car has air conditioning but mine doesn't. I feel a little guilty about this. Next week his schedule changes, though, so he won't be driving in the worst heat of the day anymore. If things get sorted out, he'll be back to driving his car in a little while. To tell the truth, I kinda miss my little car, even if it doesn't have a/c. His car is a 1998 Crown Victoria... A boat in comparison to my tiny Nissan.
I love the green of St. Louis but I don't love the humidity. Oh, well, I am here so I may as well make the best of it. I'm looking forward to all the fun summer things we'll do and may even manage to post more blogs with pictures. Speaking of which, I need to post some of our trip to Grant's Farm... Maybe tomorrow. :P
Friday, May 21, 2010
A Bad Position For Branden
I want to share this both so you can know what a great guy Branden is and so I can remember this moment in the future.
A week or so ago we were in the car with the windows down when I caught a glimpse of myself in the side mirror. My hair was sticking out all over and I was smiling my double chin smile. I immediately began thinking bad things about myself. And then I began SAYING bad things about myself. Something along the lines of, "Holy Cow! I look terrible! I bet people see us on the street and wonder why you're with ME. I'm messy and chubby." That sort of thing.
After listening to me for a little while Branden said to me, "You're putting me in a bad position."
"What?"
"You're putting me in a bad position."
"How so?"
"You're saying bad things about the woman I'm going to marry. I would normally punch somebody who was saying bad things about the woman I'm going to marry but you ARE the woman I'm going to marry and I won't punch you. So you've put me in a bad position."
Never before had I thought of it that way. I'm accustomed to making little jokes or depreciatory comments about my weight and appearance but every time I do I'm saying something bad about the woman that Branden loves. He's right, I am putting him in a bad position. Not only am I insulting her, I'm making the woman he loves feel less of herself every time I do it. It's time to stop. I can't promise perfection, but for his sake and her's I'm going to try.
He loves me and wants me to be happy. It's the very least I can do.
A week or so ago we were in the car with the windows down when I caught a glimpse of myself in the side mirror. My hair was sticking out all over and I was smiling my double chin smile. I immediately began thinking bad things about myself. And then I began SAYING bad things about myself. Something along the lines of, "Holy Cow! I look terrible! I bet people see us on the street and wonder why you're with ME. I'm messy and chubby." That sort of thing.
After listening to me for a little while Branden said to me, "You're putting me in a bad position."
"What?"
"You're putting me in a bad position."
"How so?"
"You're saying bad things about the woman I'm going to marry. I would normally punch somebody who was saying bad things about the woman I'm going to marry but you ARE the woman I'm going to marry and I won't punch you. So you've put me in a bad position."
Never before had I thought of it that way. I'm accustomed to making little jokes or depreciatory comments about my weight and appearance but every time I do I'm saying something bad about the woman that Branden loves. He's right, I am putting him in a bad position. Not only am I insulting her, I'm making the woman he loves feel less of herself every time I do it. It's time to stop. I can't promise perfection, but for his sake and her's I'm going to try.
He loves me and wants me to be happy. It's the very least I can do.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Chocolate Milk for Me! :)
I am lactose sensitive. Not exactly intolerant, since I can eat cheese without many problems and ice cream in moderation and I eat a yogurt for breakfast nearly every day. However, I cannot drink milk... AT ALL! Even a couple ounces makes me horrendously ill and, believe me, you don't want to be around me at such times. My mom once made me hot chocolate with milk in it... BAD! I was sick most of the rest of the day and part of the next.
Unfortunately, I look at soy milk and see how much more it costs than regular milk and I can't bring myself to buy it. The soy milk at CostCo is reasonably priced but I only want it for drinking and they only had the plain stuff- Gross!- until the last time we were there. The CostCo near my house now carries cases of chocolate Silk milk-boxes! :) Now I can pop one of these cute little boxes in my refrigerator and have chocolate milk when I crave it. I honestly cannot tell you how long I've been wanting chocolate milk but making excuses not to buy it because of the price... At least since Christmas. Even better, my CostCo coupons include one for $3 off a case of chocolate Silk! Hooray! Getting more calcium just got easier. :)
Unfortunately, I look at soy milk and see how much more it costs than regular milk and I can't bring myself to buy it. The soy milk at CostCo is reasonably priced but I only want it for drinking and they only had the plain stuff- Gross!- until the last time we were there. The CostCo near my house now carries cases of chocolate Silk milk-boxes! :) Now I can pop one of these cute little boxes in my refrigerator and have chocolate milk when I crave it. I honestly cannot tell you how long I've been wanting chocolate milk but making excuses not to buy it because of the price... At least since Christmas. Even better, my CostCo coupons include one for $3 off a case of chocolate Silk! Hooray! Getting more calcium just got easier. :)
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Invitation Photos
Branden and I took our invitation photos yesterday. Part of me wants them to be a surprise BUT a bigger part of me wants to tell you about them. :)
As before stated, I'm really not photogenic. Posed pictures just don't work well for me. Aside from that fact, we are too poor to hire a professional photographer. But, honestly, there's an even bigger reason we went for the pictures we did. See, there are maybe three dozen pictures of Branden and I that have been taken in the nearly three years we've been together. Of those pictures, at least 2/3 have been taken in photo booths. So...
Yesterday we went to an old fashioned photo booth that we know of and spent 2 hours and took 80 pictures. At first all I could see was how dumb I looked in all the pictures but then I started having fun. We started laughing and the smiles got real and, even though I'm still not photogenic, the pictures improved. Now I can't wait to send out our photoshopped-together strips of pictures to invite everyone to our very special, very Amber-and-Branden celebration... Which reminds me that I'm going to need some addresses pretty soon. :)
As before stated, I'm really not photogenic. Posed pictures just don't work well for me. Aside from that fact, we are too poor to hire a professional photographer. But, honestly, there's an even bigger reason we went for the pictures we did. See, there are maybe three dozen pictures of Branden and I that have been taken in the nearly three years we've been together. Of those pictures, at least 2/3 have been taken in photo booths. So...
Yesterday we went to an old fashioned photo booth that we know of and spent 2 hours and took 80 pictures. At first all I could see was how dumb I looked in all the pictures but then I started having fun. We started laughing and the smiles got real and, even though I'm still not photogenic, the pictures improved. Now I can't wait to send out our photoshopped-together strips of pictures to invite everyone to our very special, very Amber-and-Branden celebration... Which reminds me that I'm going to need some addresses pretty soon. :)
Thursday, May 6, 2010
May Is Passing Too Fast Already!
Just a super quick blog to let you know I'm still alive:
We got Branden's new laptop. He LOVES it! The screen is bigger, the graphics are better and it's faster than his old one.... Which is working out just fine for me as this screen is bigger, the graphics are better and it's faster than MY old one. Upgrades all around, HUZZAH!
I lost another 5 lb and celebrated by making cheesecake. Ok, that's not really how it went. I baked a half-chocolate/half-vanilla/semi-marbled cheesecake for a cookout we were going to attend that didn't end up happening. THEN I found out that I'd lost another 5 lb (my work pants are getting really loose!) and decided to go ahead and eat a slice of cheesecake anyway. I've explained to many people, I'm not on a diet, I've just made a couple of diet changes. I still allow myself to have sweets but I pay attention to serving sizes and give Branden the big slice of cheesecake. (Still wishing he'd gain an ounce or two of straight-up, 100% fat.)
We went back to City Museum with my new camera and played in a part we've never played in before. I also discovered the river otters and kinkajou in the aquarium. Pictures will follow.
Chantelle is being super helpful with wedding stuff and I am hoping to have more info VERY soon. We attempted to set our invitation plans in motion but things didn't quite work out. We'll try again next week (I don't have another day off of work until Wed the 12th) and maybe this time it'll work.
That's about it for now!
We got Branden's new laptop. He LOVES it! The screen is bigger, the graphics are better and it's faster than his old one.... Which is working out just fine for me as this screen is bigger, the graphics are better and it's faster than MY old one. Upgrades all around, HUZZAH!
I lost another 5 lb and celebrated by making cheesecake. Ok, that's not really how it went. I baked a half-chocolate/half-vanilla/semi-marbled cheesecake for a cookout we were going to attend that didn't end up happening. THEN I found out that I'd lost another 5 lb (my work pants are getting really loose!) and decided to go ahead and eat a slice of cheesecake anyway. I've explained to many people, I'm not on a diet, I've just made a couple of diet changes. I still allow myself to have sweets but I pay attention to serving sizes and give Branden the big slice of cheesecake. (Still wishing he'd gain an ounce or two of straight-up, 100% fat.)
We went back to City Museum with my new camera and played in a part we've never played in before. I also discovered the river otters and kinkajou in the aquarium. Pictures will follow.
Chantelle is being super helpful with wedding stuff and I am hoping to have more info VERY soon. We attempted to set our invitation plans in motion but things didn't quite work out. We'll try again next week (I don't have another day off of work until Wed the 12th) and maybe this time it'll work.
That's about it for now!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Broken
I knew it was going to happen, but it's still frustrating now that it has: My laptop is dead. :(
Most of the things on there are also on our file server- yep, we've got our very own little network thanks to Branden and his impressive computer knowledge- so I won't be losing pictures or anything like that. On the other hand, all the links that I'd bookmarked for wedding ideas are gone. Not to mention the fact that I've lost a lot of other links to things like recipes and interesting websites. Branden thinks he may be able to get something off the hard drive so maybe I haven't lost it all.
Branden has wanted a laptop for a long time but we've been putting it off. Now mine is broken and... I know it's a luxury to have two computers but we're accustomed to having two. So instead of giving Branden the gift that I've been planning on buying him, I'm going to give him the money that I would have spent and he'll use some of his tax return to buy himself a new laptop and I'll take this one. His new laptop won't be the best one in the world but it'll be faster than this one. And this one is faster than my old one so we're both upgrading. :) I don't really need a fast computer for the things I do. I'll just be happy to be able to watch a video without it freezing up half-way through.
Most of the things on there are also on our file server- yep, we've got our very own little network thanks to Branden and his impressive computer knowledge- so I won't be losing pictures or anything like that. On the other hand, all the links that I'd bookmarked for wedding ideas are gone. Not to mention the fact that I've lost a lot of other links to things like recipes and interesting websites. Branden thinks he may be able to get something off the hard drive so maybe I haven't lost it all.
Branden has wanted a laptop for a long time but we've been putting it off. Now mine is broken and... I know it's a luxury to have two computers but we're accustomed to having two. So instead of giving Branden the gift that I've been planning on buying him, I'm going to give him the money that I would have spent and he'll use some of his tax return to buy himself a new laptop and I'll take this one. His new laptop won't be the best one in the world but it'll be faster than this one. And this one is faster than my old one so we're both upgrading. :) I don't really need a fast computer for the things I do. I'll just be happy to be able to watch a video without it freezing up half-way through.
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