Thank You For My Jack Snuggie, Branden!

Branden got me a Snuggie for Christmas. Technically it's a "Comfy Throw" but it's really a Snuggie and it has the various faces of Jack Skellington all over it. :)

I am getting absorbed into the Cult of the Snuggie. It really is a super soft fleece, it's really quite warm and my hands are free to type this blog. :P It's almost embarrassing to admit it but... Snuggies are awesome.

Return To City Museum

Today was the last day that Branden and I have off together before his new shift starts at work. We should still have one day a week off work together after his shift change but... Today is the beginning of the end of a great time. I'll be sad to see him so much less. :( Ok, enough crying for now. You'll hear ALL about it when I'm lonely.

Since we know that we'll be spending much less time together in the near future, we decided to make today special and go to the City Museum again. This time there are pictures so I will post some when we get them off the camera. It's impossible for me to describe this place to you. It must be seen to be appreciated. Feel free to follow the link, explore the site and wish that you lived close enough to take advantage of this amazing museum.

After climbing, squeezing, crawling, wriggling and sliding my way through tunnels, caverns, tree trunks, pipes, stairs, slides and pillars I am worn out. Both of my knees are bruised, my left elbow is rug burned, I have a few scrapes that I didn't have this morning, my legs ache... And it was so much FUN!! Tomorrow my knees will tell me how stupid I am. Tomorrow my left knee probably won't even bend. Today I had a great time and ignored the pain. I'm so thankful that we had a great day together enjoying that magical place.

Merry Christmas! (The 2009 Version)

Well, we made it to Christmas. :) Branden and I have opted to spend a quiet day at home enjoying our gifts- we both received Wii games, among other things- and relaxing. It's nearly noon and we're still in pjs and haven't done anything but open presents, talk to family and play games... What a lovely morning. We may go see a movie later but I'd honestly be fine with staying home and doing exactly what we are doing right now.

I hope everyone is having a safe and happy holiday with the people they love.

Oh, yes, and we managed to have a bit of a white Christmas after all!

Nearly Ready For Friday

My Christmas shopping is nearly done. I just have one or two more things to buy but if I didn't buy any more I think it'd be ok. All gifts I have purchased are wrapped except the one that I need to finish creating tomorrow. Wish me luck because I'm going to try something I've never really tried before and I may mess it up big time.

All of my Christmas snacks are done and most of the plates that needed to be given away have made it to their owners. The final list: pecan bayou bars, mint chocolate brownies, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, brown sugar fudge, chocolate dipped pretzels and Darlene's Christmas Chex snack mix. Branden's friends also received peanut brittle because they insisted that they wanted it even if the peanuts were a little scorched... Then they complained that the brittle wasn't burned ENOUGH!

I believe that I have four or so Christmas cards that need to be sent to a couple people who sent them to us. Thank you to all who exchanged addresses with me and sent me cards. It's been tons of fun going out to my mailbox and finding Christmas cards. What a wonderful treat to get something other than junk, bills or ads in the mail!

Christmas is basically two days away and I have accomplished more than I ever have in the past. I'm never this prepared or on top of things. It feels GREAT! :) Tomorrow I will attempt that gift and fill out and mail my last cards.

No Peanut Brittle For You!

I GIVE UP!!!!

I just re-made my peanut brittle. I waited until it was nearly done before adding the peanuts and they STILL burned! I'm starting to think it may have something to do with my pot since it's not a very good one and probably has hot spots, etc. I'm not going to try anymore. Maybe I'll make peppermint bark instead since that doesn't involve cooking anything.

I really CAN make candy. I even make GOOD candy most of the time. The peanut brittle I made last night tastes great and I'm sure this brittle tastes great as well but I just can't give anyone candy that has some blackened peanuts in it.

***Update at 8:55 PM*** THANK YOU, AUNT DARLENE! Your delicious and EASY Christmas snack mix (I don't actually know the real name) has renewed my confidence in my treat-making abilities. Oh, yes, and thank you, Mom, for giving me the recipe. :) I am still trying to motivate myself to dip pretzels in chocolate- probably can't mess that one up :P- and maybe make an easy fudge- which may destroy my faith in me again.

Darn It! Just One More Day I Won't Get Back

Well, most of today was wasted. I didn't sleep well last night so I drug through work. When I got home I had such great plans for getting things done. I did the dishes and got the kitchen ready for my next round of treat-making but then Branden called and said I had to go into the bedroom so he could wrap a gift for me- he wasn't supposed to purchase any more gifts!

So I went into the bedroom and cuddled up under the covers to read for a little while. After he was finished, Branden came into the bedroom and also crawled under the covers. Then Jiminy came in and wanted to cuddle. We all fell asleep.

From a little after 6 until 8 I was asleep... And I have to work tomorrow and should be in bed by midnight at the latest. We haven't eaten dinner and I haven't made anything. Oh, and Branden is still in bed and probably will stay there all night from the sounds of things so I guess I just need to worry about feeding myself.

We have both been so tired recently that it's not surprising that we both fell asleep. Still, it's inconvenient and I feel guilty/frustrated that I slept when there are other things that need to be completed. Now, so I don't feel more guilty, I am going to make something in the way of Christmas treats.

***Update at 10:50 PM*** I made peanut brittle according to the recipe I had and some of the peanuts burned! *insert screaming and your own swear words here* I will have to try again tomorrow and add the peanuts much later.

The Right Chocolate

I have an awesome fiance! :)

At the risk of sounding ungrateful and food-snobbish I am going to tell you about this. I've been looking for some good chocolate for making fudge and dipping pretzels that I'm going to give to friends on a plate with other treats. I've asked all the people I know out here who make desserts and they've been trying to help me find it. I made the mistake of saying that I want to use it for dipping and ever since then I've been offered the WORST "chocolate." I mean, someone actually brought me almond bark that they found in the store and said that maybe I could use that! I know everyone is trying but... I just feel like nobody really understands what I'm looking for.

The fact of the matter is, "chocolate" whose first two ingredients are sugar and partially hydrogenated oil is not something I want. Half of those products only have artificial flavorings or maybe they have cocoa or something but it's so far down the list that there's not really anything chocolate-like about them. I want cocoa butter, cocoa solids, sugar, milk and not much else.

Then today Branden called me on his way home from work. I'd told him what I was going through so he stopped at Trader Joe's and found some chocolate... Some real chocolate. He read me the ingredients. He GETS it. I just about started to cry. It's not that I didn't already know that he loves me but somehow every once in a while it really comes through: He understands me.

I love him so much and I am so blessed to be with a guy who will go out of his way to help me find the right chocolate. It's such a small, insignificant thing but it makes me feel so good. :)

Best Store In Town

I've been meaning to write this post for a while and I think today should be the day.

I love Aldi. This store is AWESOME! A certain large chain store claims to always have the lowest prices but they don't have ANYTHING on Aldi. Oh, sure, sometimes I can go to that store and get great deals and that store also has some things that I cannot get at Aldi.

That said, Aldi has consistently better prices on produce, milk, eggs and meat. The first time we went to Aldi we had a coupon for $5 off our $25 purchase... We struggled to spend $25 and we left with 4 lb of butter, 3 dozen eggs, popsicles, milk, 7 bell peppers, stir-fry vegetables and more. One thing to keep in mind, don't expect to find name brands at Aldi. If you MUST have Wheat Thins you will not find them there, however, their brand of thin wheat crackers tastes just as good! I don't really have brand loyalties but there are some things that always seem to be better in the name brand so I was a little wary to try some of their brands. So far, we haven't been disappointed.

Another thing you should know about Aldi: they have cut out all the unnecessary bits to save you money. You rent your cart for a quarter and when you return it you get your quarter back. This is how they ensure that carts are not left in the parking lot, nobody has to go out an collect them from far corners or from neighboring stores and people rarely leave with the cart unless they are going to return with it to shop again. If you didn't bring your own bags/boxes you can purchase bags for your groceries or you can select boxes from a bin of empty cases. You bag/box your own groceries. The checkers are extremely efficient and all groceries are returned to an empty cart. You then take your grocies over to a counter to organize and box them up yourself.

There's no way that I can really tell you how much I love this store. I actually enjoy boxing up my own groceries because so few baggers do it right anyway. There are new things to find every time I go and I now have no problem spend over $25 because I'm buying almost all of our groceries. Eveyone should have a store like this!

I Am Not The Person To Ask When Trying To Buy Someone A Gift

I am terrible at buying gifts. I felt like I was doing really well a couple of weeks ago but now... I'm just not any good at this! Branden has no problem going to the store and buying me kitchen gadgets and Nightmare Before Christmas items. He says he's lucky because he knows that there are certain things that I will always be happy with. He's right: he is lucky and I will always be happy to have those things.

Unfortunately, he's not as easy to shop for. He wants clothes so I bought some but they're not exciting gifts! I purchased some other items he asked for but there are no big surprises. He claims that he likes it that way but I LIKE being surprised so I feel like I'm failing big time if I don't surprise him.

Apparently, I don't pay enough attention. I am SUCH a big fail. :( I guess that's just one more way that I fail at life. I only have 12 days before Christmas. Wish me luck in my endeavors!

Buying The New Tires I So Desperately Need Today

I took my car to a shop to get the oil changed and some things looked at this morning. We have to have it inspected by the end of this month and we're trying to get a rough idea of all the things we need to fix before we take it in and the car fails miserably.

I knew that one of my back tires was going to need to be replaced. Turns out that both of them need to be replaced NOW. The guy at the shop said he'd be surprised if the one on the right side lasts a week as it's seriously showing cables. GREAT! You know when you know something but you're able to put it out of your mind until someone else tells you that thing? Yeah, now I'm scared to drive my car.

They wanted to do my tires for $95 each but I said, "No, thanks." And proceeded to come home and call around. I now have an appointment with a tire place down the street for 2 this afternoon. There goes another $130! I guess it's better than $200, though.

They also tried to tell me that I needed a new radiator but I said, "Oh, no I don't. That radiator is less than a year old. If something is leaking then we'll fix that but it's not the radiator." The guy seemed surprised when I said this and quickly backtracked. I know I'm a woman but that doesn't mean that I'm just going to look at you and say, "Oh, ok, just fix it." I'm not an idiot!

UGH! I hate having to spend money when we're just getting back on our feet. I know it's necessary but... I just want to get back to being financially stable.

"I'll Have A Blue Christmas..."

But in this case blue refers to my Christmas decorations rather than my mood. For some reason, I'm not really a fan of red and green decorations so our Christmas tree is decked out in blue, silver and white.

For the last couple of years I've promised myself- and last year I promised on my blog- that I would take pictures of our tree and prove that it really does look as if Jack Frost has vomited on my tree.

Keep in mind, our tree is about three feet tall and Branden insists on putting five or six stings of lights and three strands of shiny beads on it. It is also covered in bells. No, we don't love bells, we just have two cats who enjoy trying to get into the tree and the bells work as an alarm system for us. Add to that the stars and other unbreakable decorations that we put on it and well... It's a little much. Please also forgive us for not being the kind of people who can make a tree aesthetically pleasing. All that said, behold our tree:

I still haven't managed to find a lighted star for the top so I put a little star ornament near the top in the mean time.

Here's a side view. It really looks less messy in real life. Honestly, this is almost embarrassing because I know that most of your trees are bound to look far nicer than mine.

I love this snowflake. It's the biggest ornament on our tree.

Here's a picture of the lit tree. Most of our lights are blue. The ones you can really see are the white LED lights.

There you go. Now that you've seen mine there's no reason to not post yours!

I Know It's a Little Late But... Here Are Pics From My Trip To UT

WARNING: LOTS of pictures to follow!
The Reception
It started with Chantelle sitting on the floor watching her wedding video.

Katie and I joined her for a little while.

Here's the wedding cake.

Cutting the cake...

And feeding each other oh so sweetly.
First dance
James eating cake and sporting Chantelle's tie choice
Rick giving Mom a hug good-bye. Note the slightly longer, blonde hair.
Pizza Night
Mom is our pizza chef
Allan and Stacy
Melissa Bass and... Katie. Don't ask. There's Dad in the background as well. :)
Allan and Kysa
Paxton with his teeth missing. I can't believe how big this kid is getting!
Rick... WOW! Look at that hair! Not blonde now!
Let's take another look.
I know this picture is fuzzy but I love it anyway.
I awoke Sunday morning to hear a small child doing something in the kitchen. Where's Josh?
OH! There he is!
I thought it was HILARIOUS that he came up with this and was waiting for someone to find him.
And finally, Mom, Dad, James and Christina. Aside from myself, these two are the last unmarried kids in our family. They are also the last two at home. James will be going on a mission this March so this is the last time I'll be seeing him for a while.

This Year I WILL Send Them!

I never send Christmas cards. I always plan on it. I even have three or four different styles of cards which I've purchased with the full expectation that I will send them. Somehow I just never do! I get busy with life and work and never take the time to do the things I actually was wanting to do. I've decided that this year will be different.

I don't have the crafty talents required to make cards so I opted to purchase them instead. Now I have yet ANOTHER style of cards but I really am not keeping them this year! I've started signing our names and writing names on envelopes and all I have to do is get some addresses and some stamps and mail them off! The stamps will be purchased today when I mail things to my family and the addresses... Well, that's partly where you come in!

I would like to send Christmas cards to you, my five loyal readers! Send me your address on FaceBook or leave me a message here- DON'T include your address- with an email or some way that I can reach you and we will work things out. I also suppose you could send me a text if you have my phone number. If you don't read this until closer to Christmas- or even after Christmas- and you feel like it'd be cool to get a card, don't worry, I'll still send them out!

Anyway, it's my day off so I'm going to get out of here and get some shopping- and shipping- done!

"It's Christmastime In The City"

It's that time of year again!

Thanksgiving has come and gone. I spent the day cleaning, cooking and getting Matt and Christine's wedding cake iced, etc. Branden helped me clean, brought the Christmas stuff up from our little storage space and relaxed a bit before making mashed potatoes and carving turkey. We probably still have 12-15 lbs of turkey. :P We're going to cut everything up tonight and freeze it. (Have I mentioned that I LOVE my chest freezer? Yeah, it's still awesome.)

Branden got his first paycheck the day after Thanksgiving so we did a little bit of shopping that evening. I was surprised at how many cars were still in the parking lot at the mall! Since there are so many of us, my family draws names and we each give to just one person. This year I give to my brother-in-law Joey so Branden and I went to Sears and found something that I hope he likes. We also found a gift for Dad so my Christmas shopping has (finally) begun! I actually hope to be done next week or maybe the week after.

Last night was Matt and Christine's reception. I stacked and finished the cake most of the way yesterday afternoon then transported it to the reception site for the finishing touches. Everyone loved the cake and I was just glad to be finished with it. :) We forgot to bring our camera but we've been promised pictures so I'll post some when we get them.

Today we opened up the giant tote that contains our Christmas stuff so I could get out my Christmas socks... I LOVE my Christmas socks. :) I discovered that I forgot I purchased NINE rolls of wrapping paper last year after Christmas. Looks like we're not going to need to buy any of that! We will be decorating our tree in the next couple days and I will write about that because our tree is a blog in and of itself. :P I always plan on taking pictures of our little tree but maybe I can manage this year.

One Year And Still Blogging

Yesterday was my blog-iversary. Thinking back over the past year a lot has changed.

The most obvious change is location. I know I've said this over and over but it's still true that I love St. Louis. I may not love my boss, I may not love my neighbors but I love the city. We live in an apartment that is far larger than that tiny rented house. Summer was muggy and a little hard to adjust to but autumn has been lovely and so far there has been NO SNOW! :) And although it has been getting chillier- is that a word?- I have yet to wear a jacket to work and haven't turned on the heater. Quite the opposite, actually. We've been opening windows to let the heat out!

Obviously both of our jobs have changed.

I am driving a different car. (Thankfully this one has lasted this long. I'm hoping for a little longer.) I committed deerslaughter... Yes, it's a word... Now.

I made goals. I forgot some of them and decided to let others go. I am working toward some of them still and have recently made new ones. One of my new goals is to dress a little more like a woman and less like a person who doesn't care. Don't expect any drastic changes the next time you see me. I still have T-shirts and only jeans but I decided to get some shirts that are a little more than just T-shirts. You know, some polos and shirts with 3/4 sleeves or different necklines or small decorative touches on them.

Another change: Both Rick and Chantelle are married. I knew a year ago that Rick was getting married in June but Chantelle's wedding didn't seem to be in the works last November. Little did we know that Jeremy was out there looking for her. This means, of course, that even though I am the fourth of nine, I will be the seventh child to get married.

I have also lost a couple friends in this past year. (And not because I moved away and haven't kept in touch.) I am not sad, though. It was time for those relationships to die. In some cases, it was well past time but I tried to hold on anyway.

I gained, and re-discovered, some friends as well. FaceBook has allowed me to re-bond with some people I never meant to let slip away but was too lazy/busy to do what needed to be done. What's more, this and other blogs have helped me feel like I am a part of the lives of some really great people. :)

It's been a wonderful year on here and I can't wait to keep it up and see what another year will bring. By my second blog-iversary Branden and I will be married. Look forward to some wedding posts- both planning and the actual day. :) I hope to still have my five awesome readers because even though I ultimately do this for me, it's great sharing my life with you. Who knows? Maybe by next year I'll have six or (Dare I hope it?) seven readers!

Today I Realized How Shallow I Can Be

Just a quick post and then off to bed.

I am going to burn for a very long time. I am a horrible person.

There is a lady/girl/woman who is probably about my age who comes into my work all the time. I do not know her name but she and her three-year-old son, Issac, come and watch me decorate cakes at least once a week. She likes to talk to me but I am often too busy to really give her much attention. Also... She is strange. Yes, I am strange, but... I can't. I can't tell you how strange she is other than to say that she'll literally stand there and talk to me for an hour and all I have to do is give cursory responses. Sometimes I will give real responses and she can be enjoyable to talk to but she always seems to come in when I am rushing to finish my work.

One of the last times she was there she said that she hopes that I don't mind her coming in, talking to me and watching me decorate. I took a bit of a risk and told her that I don't mind- I mostly don't- so long as she doesn't mind if I ignore her sometimes- that was a little rude of me and not very good customer service. Thankfully, she took it well and told me that she understands that I'm at work and that I will need to do whatever I have to do while she's there.

So here's the part that means I'm going to burn. She has... A mustache. Not just a mustache, the whole mustache-goatee combo. She shaves it but she has very dark hair and pale skin and you know how that goes. I am sure, no, I KNOW she cannot control it and it is probably something about which she is self-conscious. We call her the mustache lady and we talk about how strange she is and I've been told that the last cake decorator used to hide every time she showed up because she just wants to talk all the time.

And I am a horrible person for not seeing that she is lonely and desperate for a friend. Today she told me that I'm the best friend she has in St. Louis.

I am scum. I am lower than low. I am the worst kind of person for tearing down someone- albeit in a way that they will never know- who just wants to be accepted and loved.

You know, sometimes those "annoying," "clingy" people are just looking for someone to listen and smile at them. I could be that person... She thinks I am that person. I will be that person for her from now on.

Yes, Twenty Pounds

Today was my last day off before Thanksgiving. I spent most of the day baking and grocery shopping.

I am making Branden's friend's wedding cake the weekend after Thanksgiving. Since I will most likely be decorating the cake on Thanksgiving, I baked the layers today. I am SO glad I insisted on keeping my chest freezer! I now have two 6", two 10" and two 14" cakes freezing neatly in my spare room. I also baked our pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving and that's in there, too.

Someday I will write my feelings about grocery shopping... I am addicted to it. I went today to get the rest of our Thanksgiving dinner... Mostly the turkey which weighs 20.50 lb. Yes, I bought a 20 lb bird for two people! The thing is, a certain store- which will remain unnamed- has turkey on sale for $0.40/lb. Unfortunately, all the turkeys were 20 lb or larger. So I could get a very large bird for under $10 OR I could get a smaller bird for over $10. I just cannot pay the same amount for half the turkey. So, even though it's major overkill for our dinner, we'll have lots of leftovers and I can freeze shredded turkey when we feel a bit sick of it. Once again happy to have my chest freezer. :)

Branden Is Working Again :)

Yesterday was Branden's first day at work. Some of his working thoughts so far:

-"I am very disappointed in the IT students in my class. One lady will be graduating in December and can pretty much only create PowerPoint presentations. She ROCKS the PowerPoint presentations, though... Yeah, not good enough."

-"This job will be easier than I thought."

I got a bit more out of him, but not much. :P I think we are both feeling a bit better about life now that he's working again. As it turns out, he'll get paid 27th which is quite a bit earlier than I expected. I don't want to jinx us but... Things seem to be on the way to potentially, possibly looking up.

Book Report: Round Robin by Jack Kent

I am pretty sure that this book is out of print and you may not be able to find it at the library. If you do find it and borrow it, don't lose it since the only one I found on Amazon is selling for $79.99!!!

Anyway, Round Robin is the story of a bird who eats and eats and eats until he's round. When the time comes to fly South for the winter, Round Robin is too heavy to fly. So everyone goes off and leaves him and he begins to hop South alone. As winter comes in, he has a harder and harder time finding food and slowly begins to lose weight. One day a fox sees him hopping along and decides that Round Robin will be a tasty snack. Without thinking, Round Robin flaps his wings and FLIES! He's lost so much weight from hopping and eating less that he is able to fly South and join his friends.

Unfortunately, Round Robin didn't learn any lessons and he eats and eats and eats until he cannot fly once again. When all the birds fly off to their homes in the North, Round Robin must, once again, hop along all by himself.

I think the moral of this story is either: "There's no point in starving yourself and exercising all the time because you'll just gain it all back anyway." OR: "If you weigh too much, everyone will go off and leave you lonely."

Whatever the moral, I read this book quite a bit as a child. Interestingly enough, I discovered that the book was published the year I was born so we are the same age!

Do Good Things Come In Threes As Well?

So, more good news! I got a raise! HUZZAH!!!

I worked at that *insert your own personal string of swear words here* catering company for 18 months and no matter how hard I tried I could NOT get a raise. Instead I was told that if I worked 15-18 hour days that I'd get more money. REALLY?!?! I never would have guessed that! Oddly enough, I wanted to work the SAME amount of time and get more money.

I have worked for this company for three and a half months and, without having to even ask, I received an eighty cent raise! EIGHTY CENTS! That may not seem like a ton of money, but that's an extra $32 a week... $128 a month! After taxes I bring home about $80 more per month. And, let me reiterate, I didn't have to beg, plead, haggle or work extra hours to get it. All I had to do was show up and work my regular shift. That feels AMAZING!

Even more amazing, I heard today that someone in the store has said to other people in the store that they are lucky to have me. I may not be the very best at what I do, I may not be the most perfect cake decorator ever and I most certainly am not the most creative, but someone out there appreciates what I do.

"Wonderful, WONDERFUL Day!"

First off, if you automatically know where my title comes from then you may have a mother like mine who loves to watch musicals. Or maybe you like musicals yourself. If you don't know, don't feel bad.

Also, I should apologize about the length of my last post. It covers, in a pretty general way, four days of a trip during which I didn't pick up my computer once. If you don't want to read it, I won't be offended. I mostly wrote it for my own remembering.

Now for the wonderful part: Branden just got off the phone with Charter and he is officially employed! 100% hired!! He'll start work on Monday and our financial situation will begin to improve in approximately one month. (I figure I can't count on him getting paid before mid-December, but I could be wrong.) We will no longer HAVE to buy bread from the bread store or get our groceries from the cheapest place we can find... But we probably will anyway as I'm a little crazy about saving money when we have it and we DO need to pay for a wedding.

I might have more good news tomorrow but I'm a little hesitant to say I do right now. If I do, then this week will be one of the best news weeks I've had for a long time. :)

Home Safe and Sound

I'm back in St. Louis now. I had a good time in UT even though I missed Branden the entire time. I was actually surprised at how much he missed me. I received many texts telling me how much I was missed... Including a few in the middle of the night which, while sweet, interrupted my sleep.

I cried intermittently on the plane while flying out to UT. I knew I would. Branden lent me his iPod Touch in an effort to distract me from such things. Yep, I cried while watching Wall-E and while listening to music and playing solitaire. I think the lady across the isle from me thought I was a little mentally unstable. Oh, well. Rick picked me up from the airport and I almost didn't recognize him- his hair was kinda longish and bleached blonde! He took me to Mom and Dad's house where I watched TV and took a nap. Around 1 PM I decided that I should get started on the frosting for the cake.

I was making American buttercream which requires shortening. I opened the can and found that it was grainy. I've never seen that before and I don't know what caused it, all I know was that it was unusable. Thankfully Mom left me keys to Dad's truck so I jumped in and headed to the store with the Can of Grossness. The lady at the service desk felt my pain and sent me back to get a new can. Unfortunately, all of the cans of that shortening had the same expiration date. Sure enough, when we opened the can I chose off the shelf it was also grainy. Ms. Service Desk was kind enough to let me exchange my shortening for one that was a little pricier since they couldn't do a straight across trade. And, yes, she also let me check it before I left the store.

I managed to make all the frosting and still get to James' work in time to give him a ride home. He had to create Chantelle's wedding video so I sat on the couch and talked to him while he worked. Amy was able to come up to Ogden and hang out with me. James was a total sweetheart- he normally is a pretty nice guy- and made us hamburgers for dinner. After Amy left, James and I waited for Mom and Dad to get home from St. George. Mom and I played a couple games of Rumikub and I lost both... In my defense, it was 2 AM my time and I wasn't exactly the most wakeful person. When Mom went to bed, Dad and James and I sat up and talked for another hour and some. I finally crawled into Chantelle's empty bed and was almost instantly asleep.

I awoke in a near-pitch-black room at 9:30 Friday morning. Turns out that Chantelle's old room is pretty much always pitch-black. Mom was upstairs waiting at the kitchen table and as soon as I changed she took me out to breakfast. We had a good time talking and then shopping at JoAnn's. We chose out the ribbon for Chantelle's cake and looked at some of the fall decor while I had nightmares... I mean DREAMS of my own upcoming wedding. We picked up the wedding flowers and headed back to my parents' house so I could decorate the cake.

Things went pretty smoothly on that front. The cake was baked by a very nice woman who knows my family and it was great to work with. I froze it and, aside from a small mishap when I dropped the partially-iced, still-frozen bottom layer on the table and nearly gave Stacy a heart attack, I had a fairly easy time of things. I will say that I wished they hadn't chosen to have the middle and top layers red velvet. It stayed together just fine but it also showed through the buttercream if it was less than 1/2" thick. Once the cake was iced, wrapped with ribbon and stowed in my parents' outside fridge, I was able to help out with a few other things before taking a shower and getting ready to go.

Skipping the part where Chantelle was freaking out about being late and I had to shake some sense back into her, the reception seemed to go quite well. The video James made was quite nice, I heard good things about the looks of the cake, the muffins that the caterer served were quite tasty- though I suspect they came from Sam's Club- Chantelle was a pretty little bride and Jeremy was all smiles and I got to see some people I was looking forward to seeing. Katie's son Josh didn't really remember me at first but after I picked him up and tossed/spun him around a little he remembered... And wanted me to toss him around some more. I was a dork and forgot to bring the camera but thankfully Christina took a bunch of pictures and James was kind enough to email some to me. I will post a few later, but probably not tonight.

I did get a little sad, though, because by the time I get married next year, all of this will be old news for my family. I'm the seventh child out of nine to marry even though I'm the fourth oldest. I try not to mind that two of my little sisters and one of my little brothers managed to get married before me. After all, I am engaged and I am happy with the man I will be marrying. If I'd gotten married before all of them, I wouldn't be with him or where I am today. I don't know where I'd be, but I don't really believe that I'd be a lot happier. Branden and I love each other and we're generally happy. What's more, he's my best friend... The other part of my box set. Yes, we are fine separately, but we're so much better together.

Back to my trip: I spent Friday night at Katie's house and once again stayed up past my bedtime talking. Saturday morning Katie had to go practice a dance so I cuddled with Josh while watching Nightmare Before Christmas- his choice, I swear!- and chatted with Sharon. My mom picked me up for lunch and we played a few more games of Rumikub- this time I won a couple! Afterward, I spent FOREVER helping my mom sort, delete and generally clean up the pictures on her computer. As a reward, my mom fed me brownies, YUM!

Amy picked me up and we went shopping to find a dress for her and Katie to wear at my wedding. Katie met us at Dillard's where we gave up on the mall and headed over to Target. We found a fun dress on clearance for $6.24! So now we have a place to start for them. They'll need some sort of jackets or shrugs as it's a summery dress and Amy's will need to be hemmed, but at least we have something! I was concerned about finding a dress for them that would be inexpensive but also have potential to be something they'd wear again. I let them pick it themselves so... I HOPE they weren't both lying when they said they liked it.

Saturday night was pizza night with the family. We had just the kind of conversation Mom likes to discourage us from having at the table- full of stories about poo and vomit. :) I spent the night at Katie's again and got a little bit more sleep this time, though not much more. Joshie woke me Sunday morning and was SO cute I had to take a couple pictures. Katie made us biscuits for breakfast then she and I went shopping for my Christmas present.

I should state that Katie is an awesome shopper and loves to do it. The only shopping that I like is grocery shopping- which I LOVE but that's another post entirely. All of my clothes are wearing out, though, and I'm 27 and only wear t-shirts so I told her it was time for a change. Nothing drastic, but maybe some polos or some shirts that were more than t-shirts but less than nice shirts. She helped me pick out some things to try on and we managed to find four new shirts that are just the sort of thing I was looking for. She sent one home with me and will wrap the others and mail them to me for Christmas.

One more trip back to my parents' house to say good-bye to everyone and get a ride to Amy's house in Bountiful and my trip was nearly over. Amy and I ate lunch together at Dee's in Sugarhouse. I love Dee's and they have a great special for November: a ham and cheese melt with fries and a GIANT piece of pumpkin pie for less than the normal price of the sandwich and fries. All too soon it was time for me to be at the airport. What I didn't realize was that Amy can use her Delta badge to get through airport security and she came with me all the way to the gate!

Once on the plane, I only cried a little. If home is where the heart is, then my home is about 85% in St. Louis with Branden and about 15% with my family and friends. I love them, I miss them, but I was always going to have to leave them in some form or other. As the holidays commence, I know I will miss being in UT immensely. I will be sad to miss seeing extended family at Thanksgiving and/or Christmas. I will miss opening presents, decorating and baking with my family. Christmas won't be the same without the excitement of children or the lights on Temple Square or in Downtown Ogden. BUT, this is home now. I had a good time in UT but it's still good to be home.

Going To UT Thursday

I fly out to UT Thursday morning. This afternoon I had a bit of a panicky moment when Amy, who was supposed to be picking me up from the airport, informed me that her work is now telling her she cannot be off at that time. Normally, this isn't a big deal EXCEPT that almost all of my immediate family is going to be down in St. George for Chantelle's wedding. For a few minutes I contemplated figuring out which UTA bus would take me to the Trax train that will take me from Salt Lake to Ogden and then walking from Union Station in Ogden to... Rick'n'Abby's probably. Thankfully, my amazing younger brother has decided that he will sacrifice some of his sleep to come and get me. I didn't want to ask as Rick works graves and really needs to sleep but as soon as I told him what was going on he was ready and willing. I'm so lucky to have such a great brother!

Now that Branden has a job on the horizon, I feel a little better about taking time off work. I am looking forward to spending time with my family. This is very likely the last time I will see James for the next two and a half to three years as he plans on going on a mission in March.

Unfortunately, I don't travel well. Yep, I wrinkle. :P Ok, my clothes get a little rumpled, but that's not what I mean. Almost every time I fly, I cry. I try not to but it seems like I am always leaving someone behind and I have these crazy fear-thoughts that something will happen while I'm away. I know it's not sensible but I will worry that Branden might get hurt or something while I'm gone and, not only will I not be there, I won't even KNOW! And I will miss him the whole time I'm gone. However, when the time comes to return to him, I will cry because I will miss my family.

Today I got an early dose of those feelings while I was packing- first, it's a miracle that I started packing today. I was putting my knee socks in my suitcase and it just hit me that I'm not going to see Branden for four days. I really needed a hug... He thinks I'm crazy. I'll be ok once I'm there but right now- and Thursday morning- I will have to deal with a few fear-thoughts.

Not Too Early After All

Good day! Branden made awesome CrockPot roast, and I mean AWESOME! The kind of awesome that makes you want to keep eating until all the roast is gone and then lick up whatever juices you can find even though you were stuffed full long before that point.

That isn't actually what made today good, though. BRANDEN GOT A JOB OFFER TODAY!!!!!! I saw the letter extending the offer and I just about started happy-dancing around OfficeMax. True, he doesn't start until the 16th but, still, it's a job! I should say that it's contingent on him passing the drug test (no problem), the criminal background check (not really worried), and the employment history check (yep, he's worked all those places.) I'm being a little clingy and crazy now but... How can I express the relief that is the prospect of Branden having a job. I just want to hug him over and over and over and tell him how proud and happy I am and how I knew he could do this... And babble on and on and on in a happy fashion.

*happy sigh* Oh, it's a good day.

Halloween 2009

Well, Halloween has come and passed and I have to admit it was a little disappointing this year. First off, the people at my work made it sound like we were going to be CRAZY for a couple days before and the day of Halloween. So I was expecting some Macey's-style madness: thousands of people, what seems like tens of thousands of glazed donuts sold, hundreds of orders, shelves that empty as fast as they can be filled, and so on. NOT AT ALL WHAT WE HAD!

I had maybe half a dozen Halloween cake orders in the last week and orders totaling maybe 10 dozen cupcakes... Did I mention that this was in the WHOLE week before Halloween? My boss made a REALLY big deal about us making over a hundred Halloween themed 12" message cookies and we still had about 30 in the freezer when I left yesterday with no place to put them and the ones on the shelf not moving at all. We got somewhat close to selling all the cupcakes off the shelves but still... Not the kind of sales I was expecting. Donut sales were normal for a Saturday and there was no overabundance of orders. In fact, I had fewer than usual.

Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, out here sells bread soup bowls. ("Wait, WHAT?! No bread soup bowls?!! How can that be?" *sighs* That's how I feel, too.) So there were no orders for 25-150 soup bowls for Halloween parties and, if you hadn't guessed, there were no requests for pumpkin-shaped soup bowls. I tell you, this WHOLE city is missing out!

I made sure that Branden and I bought candy for the inevitable trick-or-treaters who would make the rounds at our apartment complex... We didn't see ONE kid! I figured that, if nothing else, The Nasties from downstairs would bring their kids by. It's not that I WANT to give those people candy, but their kids are just kids and probably deserve to have a little sweetness given to them after having to deal with their awful parents. (Truly, nothing I told you about these people would illustrate how bad they are. Nasty isn't really a good enough desciption for them.)

Last night was also our Engagiversary! Thankfully, we will only get one as we will be married by next Halloween. What did we do to celebrate? We sat at home, waiting for trick-or-treaters and watching Halloween movies- Of COURSE we watched Nightmare Before Christmas! We also had our very own little spread of party foods for dinner. Then, around midnight, I fell asleep on the couch and Branden took me to bed at 1 AM. Yep, we are CRAZY party people!

We need some friends who like to go out and do stuff!... And we need money to go out and do stuff! Maybe next Halloween will be more exciting but somehow, I think we'll be this boring until we have kids. :P

It's a Little Early But...

Branden interviewed for a job today and things look good. He had to take some tests- which he passed. He then passed the first interview, continued on to pass the second interview and will go on to his third, and final, interview either Monday or Tuesday. He feels really good about this and I'm trying not to get my hopes super high but... When he told me how well everything went today a huge knot started to loosen in my chest. Dead serious, at this point, no matter the result I WILL bawl like a baby from either disappointment or- oh, I really need it to be- relief.

This is the best job interview results so far. It's not the ideal job- he'll be a tech support guy at a call center- but it would be money to get us by until he is able to get a job that is more of what he wants.

Keep your fingers crossed for us and, if you feel so inclined, go ahead and cross your arms for us, as well. Maybe this time, just maybe, all the good energy you've been sending our way will pay off.

We Were Lucky Ones

I work with a girl named Rachel. She is the also from a family of nine kids but she's the seventh and she's only 19. It's kinda crazy and kinda funny. I never expected to end up meeting someone else from a large family out here. Oddly enough, both families have three boys and six girls but that's about where things end in similarities.

Today Rachel asked me if I got to celebrate Halloween as a child. What an odd question! Of course we celebrated Halloween! As it turns out, she didn't get to celebrate. Her family handed out pamphlets detailing the evils of Halloween instead. I told her I was very sorry to hear that. I guess they handed out anti-Santa pamphlets at Christmastime as well. (By the way, they aren't Jehovah's Witnesses or anything like that.) Her stories were funny but they also made me a little sad.

I love celebrating holidays and I can't understand why you would want to take the fun and magic away from your children. I love dressing up, I love carving pumpkins and I really love candy. I also love Christmas traditions and I don't see a problem with Santa as long as Santa isn't the only thing your kids know about Christmas.

I'm glad my parents let us celebrate and we didn't have to sneak out to go trick-or-treating or have to pretend we were trick-or-treating by knocking on our own basement door. AND our house wasn't egged and we weren't the only kids in our class not dressed in costumes. And we were allowed to believe in Santa as long as we could- which wasn't all that long, honestly, but that wasn't my parents' fault.

In fact, my mom let us dress up in Halloween costumes all month, sang Halloween songs with us and helped us make haunted graham cracker houses. She let us help decorate the house for Christmas, read us Christmas stories that included Santa and Christmas Eve we put out cookies and a Coke for him.

I really do feel lucky. :)

Murphy's Line Law

If there's a choice of lines, you will choose the one that moves the slowest.

Ok, so this isn't an actual law, but you KNOW it should be! I am the proof that this is true. No matter where I am, I always seem to choose the slowest line. I can be at the grocery store and choose the line with only one person in front of me. That person is guaranteed to: 1) have coupons that don't scan, 2) have an argument about the price of an item, 3) write a check, 4) have a pen that's out of ink, 5) lose the glasses they need to see the check they are writing, etc.

Even more proof is rush hour traffic. I try to be a fairly patient driver when I'm stuck in stop-and-go traffic. I talk to myself and make up tuneless songs about the happenings around me. (Today's songs included asking people to speed up but not go too fast in the rain as I would only end up going slower if they were in an accident... I know, it was a classic song.) I also try to pick a lane and stick with it for most of the drive. The problem is, I never pick the right one. If I'm in the middle lane, the lane on my left will be going faster. If I'm in the second to left lane, the second to right lane will be trucking along.

It would seem that then all I'd have to do is get in that one lane that's moving. Except that doesn't work. If I decide to change lanes, then so do about 50 other people and the lane stops moving. I keep telling myself that it's better to be patient and stay in one lane rather than move about... But it doesn't really seem to matter what I do.

Other people may enter the interstate at the same on ramp as me and go the same distance, but they get there in 3/4 the time it takes me because they apparently are not governed by Murphy's Line Law.

Book Report: Shel Silverstein

Enter This Desserted House
But please walk softly as you do.
Frogs dwell here and crickets too.
Ain't no ceiling, only blue
Jays dwell here and sunbeams too.
Floors are flowers- take a few.
Ferns grow here and daisies too.
Whoosh, swoosh-- too-whit, too-woo,
Bats dwell here and hoot owls too.
Ha-ha-ha, hee-hee, hoo-hoooo,
Gnomes dwell here and goblins too.
And my child, I thought you knew
I dwell here... and so do you.
---Shel Silverstein from "Where the Sidewalk Ends"

I'm going to deviate a little from my original plan and report on an author today. I don't know how often I'll do this, but there are some authors who are worth it. Shel Silverstein is one of them.

Growing up, we often checked "Where the Sidewalk Ends" and "A Light in the Attic" out of the library. At one point, my mom discovered them on tape and she would get them so we could listen to Mr. Silverstein read, sing and chant his poems. We learned many of his poems by heart and I'm fairly certain that most of us can still quote a few... Especially one poem in particular about spitting off a building. We learned how to get out of drying dishes, how to stay friends forever, what happens if you watch TV too long and what could happen if your parents refuse to buy you a pony. We learned what would happen if you ate too much peanut butter, excuses for being late to school, proper babysitting techniques and so much more.

In all the humor- and there is a lot- there are also a few real life lessons. I try to remember some of his more inspirational poems when I'm having a hard time with life. One of my favorites:

Listen to the Mustn'ts

Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,
Listen to the DON'TS
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me-
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.
---Shel Silverstein from "Where the Sidewalk Ends"

I only own a couple of his books but believe me, they are worth owning! At the very least, check them out of the library and read them to yourself, to your children, to your spouse, sibling, random people on the street... Share the wealth of smiles and giggles that are the poems of Shel Silverstein.

Oh, and if you do read them to your children, don't blame me if they learn a thing or two about Backwards Bill, Blackbeard's Beard and Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too. On the other hand, you may be lucky and they may learn about giving from a tree and about the similarities between little boys and old men. I think it's worth the risk.

Wishing I Could Give Good News

Two weeks from today my little sister will be getting married and I will be in UT. I was really hoping for some good news to announce today, but it's not to be.

Branden's interview... Well... The job wasn't what it was represented as being. Honestly, I feel like screaming and crying right now. Basically, it's another contract-work job BUT they want us to fork out at least $500 to start AND buy a truck. Umm... We don't have $50 to pay for him to get hired somewhere, much less $500! It's also a little frustrating to me that Branden is still thinking there may be a way for him to do this. What part of we have no money and can't afford a truck does he not understand? I have to stop thinking about this or I really will bawl. Can't we just catch a break?

We Could Use Some Good Thoughts and Positive Energy

Branden has a job interview on Thursday. The job is internet installation for Charter Communications. It's a real job and I am DESPERATE for him to get it. We need something good like this or I honestly don't know how we're going to fix and register my car in December, much less celebrate anything or save any money for our wedding. There's nothing I can really do to make them hire him, but he's more than qualified so there's hope- assuming that there aren't any more people with master's degrees going up against him. I'm trying not to hope too much but... There's a piece of me that can't help but hope that this is finally the job.

"Nature's Finest Green Is Gold"

So far, autumn out here has been beautiful. The leaves started changing a week or so ago and they're not done yet. I love seeing the new colors every day on the way home from work. :) Today is clear and the air has the perfect crispness without actually being chilly. It has been raining a bit over the last week-ish but even an overcast day feels like a lovely autumn day to me.

It's so nice to get to enjoy this weather without wondering if it's going to snow tomorrow. I've only had to scrape the frost off my windshield once so far. I know I'll get plenty of chances in the future, but it's the fact that it hasn't snowed and we really haven't had a true hard frost yet that matters most to me now.

I have a lot of thoughts in my head right now- some of them happy, some of them more whiny- but all I really want to write about is the weather and the colors. I could only wish for something as pretty as this for our wedding... Which probably won't happen, but that's a more whiny thought so I'm going to attempt to suppress it. Maybe I can convince Branden to go for a drive today and we can take some pictures for me to share. :)

I'll be in UT on November 5th for Chantelle's wedding. I'm really looking forward to spending time with some family and friends. :) I may not be back before my own wedding so I'm going to do my best to enjoy every moment.

By the by, the title of my blog is from Robert Frost's poem "Nothing Gold Can Stay." It's only eight lines long, so look it up and read it all. It's a little sad (it was written while Frost was grieving the loss of friends), but when I think about it I remember that the gold of autumn only lasts a little while and I should appreciate it while I can.

Clean Bathroom... If Only For a Day Or So

Today I cleaned our bathroom... REALLY cleaned it. I took over an hour to scrub every surface, dump out, clean and re-fill the litter box and get all the litter off the floor, tub and toilet.

Maybe I should explain that we have been using a flush-able wheat cat litter. I'm not positive, but I seriously believe it's just cracked wheat. It's kinda nice to scoop litter straight into the toilet but for some reason it's also far messier than regular scoopable litter. It's quite dusty but there's more... It just gets everywhere. On the other hand, because it's wheat it's not all that hard to clean up.

Anyway, it's not as if we don't ever clean the bathroom but, what with our being sick and all, it had been a while and it was time for a deep cleaning. I honestly can't believe how good it looks. You know when things get left on the counter and the mess slowly builds up but you don't think much of it because it's not like it's gross, it's just cluttered? Maybe you don't. Maybe we're messier than most people. The point is, when it's gotten bad and you get all that stuff off the counter and put away, and everything that belongs on the counter is wiped down and placed properly, and the counter itself has been cleaned... It's amazing. And seeing the tub and toilet free of dust and hair of all forms is pretty nice, too.

I even went to the extent of cleaning up the bathroom closet. The towels are nice and neat again. The band-aids, decongestant and cold medicine are back in their respective boxes and placed on the proper shelves. Even the lightbulbs are lined up neatly. It feels so good to look at all that clean. :)

One complaint that I have about Branden's cleaning style is that he thinks if there's not stuff on the floor then the room is clean. So he'll pick stuff up and set it on a book shelf- or put it in a closet- and even if that thing doesn't go there, he'll call it clean because there's nothing on the floor. If you ever visited us before we moved, you may have noticed this. Needless to say, there was a lot of stuff in that closet that didn't belong there. While I was at it, I made a trip into the living room and kitchen to find things that DID belong in the closet and were set in various places when Branden "cleaned." I've threatened Branden

It's true that I only deep cleaned one room today, but it was probably the most important room to deep clean in terms of germs. The second most important would be the kitchen. Our kitchen stays fairly clean since we have a dishwasher now and can load most dishes right into it. I wipe down the stove and counters with Clorox wipes- I love those things- and the garbage is removed regularly. While it probably is due for a deep clean, I feel mostly good about the kitchen at this time.

Umbrella Thoughts

I don't own an umbrella. Most of the time, this doesn't bother me. I hardly even notice! Yeah, it's been raining quite a bit out here and it was sprinkling off and on today but I rarely feel like I need an umbrella. In my (probably flawed) experience, when it's raining hard enough for me to need something like an umbrella then I'll generally get more wet from water splashing up from the ground than from the water coming down on me. Anyway, what does it matter if I get wet? My clothes are nothing special, I almost never wear make-up and my pigtails are hardly a hairdo worth worrying about... So what if I get wet?

I suppose that it's a good thing that I don't have an umbrella. It'd just be something that I'd have to haul around. I get frustrated when I have to carry around a lot of things I don't need. (What am I going to do when I have kids and have to haul around things for just-in-case?) I don't even like to drag a jacket around with me when there's a chance I may need it.

Oddly enough, this was what I was thinking about on the way home from work today. I would bet money that I was the only person sitting in rush hour traffic and thinking umbrella thoughts.

New "Book Report" Segment!

I have always loved to read. I cherish the memories of sitting next to my mom while she read to me and my siblings. I remember reading books by the glow of the night light when I was supposed to be sleeping... I also remember getting caught and being in trouble for doing so. Books are an escape when I need a quiet moment in my life or a way to pass a lonely evening when everyone else seems to be busy. There are funny stories and ones that make me cry, books that always bring a smile and ones that aren't worth reading again, passages to be shared and others to be kept close to the heart in hard times.

With this in mind, I've decided to do a semi-regular segment reporting on books I read as a young person... Yes, children's books. You may be asking, "Why books for children? Surely you read good books now."

Well, I feel that I've never really "graduated" to adult books. Oh, sure, I read books with chapters now but I often get them from the young adult, teen and sometimes even the children's section. (Harry Potter is for adults, too!) Not to mention the fact that I've always enjoyed reading aloud and most of my reading to others has centered around me reading to small children. Basically, I have fond memories- and sometimes strange memories- of these stories and I will now share them with you. :) With no further ado, I present my first "book report" on Is Your Mama A Llama? By Deborah Guarino, Illustrated by Steven Kellogg.

" Is your mama a llama," I asked my friend Dave.
"No she is not," is the answer Dave gave. "She hangs by her feet and she lives in a cave. I don't believe that's the way llamas behave."
"No," I agreed, "You are right about that. I think your mama must be a bat!"

Maybe it's the rhyming, maybe it's just the many, many times I read this book to my younger siblings and Sabre, but I can quote a good portion of this book by heart. Maybe I don't get all the words quite right, but it'd be close enough that no small child would notice. :) The premise is very simple: A young llama goes to all of his friends and asks if their mama is a llama. Each replies with a description of their mother to explain why she is not a llama until he reaches his friend who is also a llama and asks her. At that point she comfirms that her mother is a llama and that his mother is a llama, too.

This is a book I plan to own when I have children. It lends itself wonderfully to reading out loud and also has classic Steven Kellogg pictures to keep a child's attention. Also, there aren't a lot of words on each page so over-eager listeners don't have to stare at one picture too long. I highly recommend you pick this book up at the library the next time you make a trip there... Seriously, pick it up and read through it even if you don't have any kids.

Branden Gave Me His "Swine Cold"

I got home from work today around 4:50PM. By 5:10PM I was in bed taking a nap and Branden was next to me reading. At some point he fell asleep as well. We slept until 7:50PM. I am still tired and will very likely be going to bed in little over an hour.

If I didn't mention it before, I have Branden's cold. I don't know if I haven't hit the bad point yet, if I have a milder version or if he's just a really big wimp. I do know that I'm exhausted after eight hours of work and today my head hurt all day today. It turns out that a big part of that headache was lack of food. Branden had the WONDERFUL idea for us to use some of the really good Arby's coupons we got in the mail to get dinner. I didn't get lunch today and the caffeine from my Mt. Dew and the curly fries really helped my headache.

I'm starting to think I should be wrapped in bubble wrap and kept at home. Maybe it's because I'm more tired than usual, but I seem to be extra clumsy. I have a large bruise on my right forearm from a box falling on it in the freezer. I have a bruise on my left knee from walking into something- also in the freezer. I have a series of bruises on the inside of my right leg, just below my knee... I have no idea where they came from. Yesterday at work I hit my head on something. It hurt like a hurting thing, but I just kinda ignored it. Yesterday afternoon I was looking in the mirror and I thought, "Ew, there's something in my hair." It was BLOOD! I cut my head when I hit it and I didn't even know it.

Thankfully, I will be off work on Sunday. I just have to make it through tomorrow and then I have a day to rest.

Not Every Bakery Is Charm City Cakes!

Today a customer wanted a sculpted cake, which we don't do, and then rudely asked me what I was doing working in a bakery if I couldn't draw. I probably shouldn't have said it, but I told her that Ace of Cakes is not real life for most bakeries and that the people who purchased those cakes paid thousands of dollars. Maybe I should have also mentioned that the "decorators" on that show actually went to art school to learn to draw/sculpt/paint but I didn't. I did tell her that the one and only cake decorator I've ever personally met who could draw worked at one of our other stores and I was sure she'd be able to help her if she was set on having her picture drawn by hand but she still wouldn't get a sculpted cake. Not surprising to me, she decided that she didn't want to order from us because we couldn't give her exactly what she wanted.

I would love to learn to draw but I know I'd have to take a class as my past attempts to learn on my own did next to nothing to improve my skill. It may not help me, though, since drawing with icing is NOT the same as drawing with a pencil. I'd love to learn to paint and sculpt as well. Someday I will take a flower arranging class. All of these things will help me with my cake decorating. Unfortunately, at this time I just don't have the money or the extra energy to devote to such things.

I'll be honest, with our current situation, someday seems very far away. I think about all the things that need to happen for me to progress professionally and for us to progress as a couple and for Branden to progress professionally... And I hope that we progress personally somewhere in there. It's a little overwhelming. I just keep telling myself that things are going to get better. Things are going to improve, we will be able to progress and someday I might actually be the decorator/pastry chef I wish to be.

Today Is Better Than Yesterday

Today my best friend and I had some good talking. I'm still worried about her, but I feel like she may be doing a little better.

Branden is still sick and whiny. Goodness, but he's a baby! :P We bought him some soup and orange juice and maybe he'll be better soon.

We are having some beautiful fall weather. :) The trees haven't really started turning yet, but we are having cool, clear days. That's really about it for now.

Not Enough Sleep And A Messy-Feeling Day

Today feels like a mess. Things are happening with my best friend- the one that's not Branden- and I don't know enough to even talk to her. I'm 1300 miles away and I can't help- partially because I'm so far away but also because I don't have the information I need to be a supportive friend. I feel lost and worried and useless... But mostly worried. She's assured me that she's ok but the lack of communication says otherwise. Since there's nothing I can do, I decided to tell her that I'm here when she needs me and let her come around to talking to me when she feels ready. I don't know if this is the right thing but I can't think of a better solution right now.

On a home note: Branden is sick. He thought it was swine flu but since he had a temperature of 95.7 yesterday- yes, the boy is downright freezing- I told him that wasn't possible. (I took my temp with the thermometer as well and I was 98.9 so I'm pretty sure it's working. Either that or he's actually 98.6 and I have a temp of 101.8 which is unlikely.) Now he's claiming that he has swine cold. He definitely has a cold and he's being a big, not-very-smart baby about it. He whines, but he's not getting any extra sleep or anything so he's not helping himself out. There's a chance that I may be getting his cold as well as I've had a slightly itchy throat for the last couple days. I can't really afford to get sick, though, so I'm trying to get extra sleep and all that good stuff.

Getting sleep last night was a little hard, though, because our downstairs neighbors were fighting at 2 AM at the top of their lungs. Honestly, it was a little entertaining because it was like listening to the audio of a reality show. I don't watch those kinds of shows but when one is happening directly under you... Well, I can see why some people do watch them. It's not like we could have helped hearing their fight, but we also didn't try to do anything to NOT hear it and now we know some of the things that we've suspected about them are true. I think I've mentioned that we don't like them... Well, we don't like them any more now. AND I think it'd be really great if they could stop fighting, yelling at their children, moving furniture and using a hammer in the middle of the night.

Speaking of the middle of the night, I'd like to just put out a bit of a reminder that when it's midnight in UT then it's 1AM in MO. So when you call me at 12:35 AM it's 1:35AM here and I was probably asleep and can't remember everything that was said. So, Chantelle, if you could call me, maybe during the afternoon sometime, we can re-discuss the things that were said about you wedding cake VERY early this morning right before our neighbors started fighting. Yeah, that would be great. :P

Finally Made It To See Blink182 In Concert

Last night was the Blink182 concert and the weather was PERFECT for an outdoor show. They were supposed to play back on September 3 with Weezer and someone I didn't care about but then a friend of their drummer committed suicide and they decided to postpone a couple of shows to give him time to mourn. So they rescheduled to last night and changed the line-up to Blink182 with Fall Out Boy and All American Rejects. Then AAR decided to back out at the last minute and Academy Is stepped into their slot.

I've seen Academy Is a couple times and I've never been impressed. Last night was no different. Fall Out Boy CAN put on a decent show and they didn't do a bad job last night. Unfortunately, they aren't Weezer. Essentially, we paid for a completely different concert than we got which stinks but I was really going to see Blink and I did see them so... Guess I can't complain too much.

I never managed to get to a Blink182 concert before they broke up for four years so last night was my first time. They did not disappoint. We felt we were old enough now to purchase seats rather than lawn tickets and I stayed seated for the first two bands but didn't sit at all while Blink was on the stage. I sang along and bounced around and generally acted like a dork but Branden was good enough to stand next to me and even kiss me and hug me occassionally. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and felt that, yes, we could have used the money that was spent so long ago on our tickets, but it was also worth the purchase of a few hours' distraction from our worries... If that makes sense.

Thankfully, I didn't have to work today. It shouldn't have been a big deal since the concert ended before 10:30 PM but then we sat in the parking lot for over an hour waiting for the cars in front of us to move. It was INSANE! We were sitting in the lane of the parking lot and people were literally backing toward the side of my car and we honestly didn't move- Branden even turned off the car- for over an hour! Something really needs to be done about that. Apparently, that's just what you expect from that particular venue.

Even though we sat there for so long- and my bladder was almost ready to explode by the time we got out- it was a good night. We made it home safely just before 1 AM. We were both pretty tired today so we didn't do much. We mostly sat around like bums... But at least that doesn't cost anything. I finished the last Harry Potter book and I'm not quite sure what I'll be reading tomorrow if I get to work early. Looks like it's time to get a library card!

New Money

I ran out of yogurt for my breakfast today. We discussed this and decided that we could handle going to the store if we ONLY bought a COUPLE of things we need and NOTHING else. So we picked up $3.00 of yogurt and 1/2 a gallon of milk a few other small things. We spent less than $15.00 and I felt pretty ok about that.

Happily, when we got home we checked our mail and we got a rebate check from our old internet provider! It's over $100 and it was totally unexpected- at least to me- so it's new, free money! Have I mentioned my feelings about rebates, refunds and buy-backs before?

Back when I was going to college, lots of my friends would complain that they paid $500 for books but when they sold them back at the end of the semester they only got $50 or so. Well, while I can understand the feelings, my philosophy is: I already spent that money- it's been gone for months!- so this is new money. :) It may not be entirely true, but it helps me be less bitter about things like getting less than half of a deposit back, etc.

I think this money is the deposit we paid when we very first set up our internet, though I don't know for certain. One way or the other... NEW MONEY and just when we really need it. :)

Adventures in {Food Storage} Cooking

Today was a day for trying new food. Until I get paid this Thursday we are eating whatever we have and I'm trying to get creative. This morning I made peanut butter pancakes with our weekly breakfast. I thought they were pretty good but lacking something... So next time I'm going to stir some roasted, salted peanuts into the mixture and serve them with warm honey. :)

For dinner I headed over to Supercook. I LOVE that website! We had a baked chicken, frozen broccoli and macaroni dish made with chicken broth and cream of chicken soup. I was a little worried but Branden LOVED it! When I asked him if there was anything he wanted me to do differently he held up his empty bowl so I'm taking that to mean he liked it as it was but he wants me to make more in the future. That's fine, he needs to eat more and gain weight. He told me the other day that his goal weight is 225 so he's got about... 75 lbs to gain! Ugh! I shouldn't think about how skinny he is right now.

Yesterday I took a recipe that I've made before and completely reinvented it. The original had 2/3 c of BBQ sauce that totally took over the entire dish. I mean the ONLY thing you could taste was BBQ sauce even though there was cheese and hamburger and bacon in the meal as well. It was a total turn-off to both of us. Even ketchup would have been overpowering. SO, I left out a few ingredients and replaced the sauce with cream of mushroom soup. I know it's NOTHING like BBQ sauce but that was the point. I made the dish with no tomato products and I thought it turned out great! Even better, Branden liked it.

Tomorrow will bring more adventures in cooking without shopping. I have plenty of food storage to play with so we'll see what comes out of my kitchen. I look forward to attempting new things and maybe improving them when we have more money for fun ingredients.

Negative-One-Year Anniversary

At this time, one year from this date, I will be a married woman. I will go from Miss to Mrs. with one, painless, "I do." Branden and I essentially live as if we're married right now, but... I'm really looking forward to one year from today when everything is official. In theory, life won't change but really lots of things will change- including my last name. :)

Hitting A Low Point... But Still Surviving

I hit a bit of a low point last night. Rent is due on October 1st. I get paid tomorrow and I've held onto my last paycheck so I have enough money to pay rent. BUT I did my math wrong because I thought that after I paid rent we'd have about $150 left over and we're only going to have $50-ish left over. I can't deny that I cried a bit when I realized that. Thankfully Branden pointed out that I actually get paid again ON October 1st so if there's a reason we NEED a little more than $50 in the next week or so I'll still have money to pay rent. It's not the ideal situation, and I'll do everything I can to not use these two checks for anything but rent, but at least we're not as destitute as I was feeling.

To be honest, this is a bit of a low point in my adult financial life. Many times in the past I have felt that I have never been worse off than I was at that moment... Only to be worse off later. Last week Branden checked and we are eligible for $50-$60 of food stamps. I'm pretty sure we will not be taking advantage of that- I HOPE we won't need to- but it's still a bit of a shock. I've never, in my adult life, been eligible for food stamps. Even though I am not homeless and even though I am managing- just barely- to pay bills and keep us fed, this is really and truly the worst off I have been so far.

When I don't think about it too much, when I just keep going and doing what I need to do, I don't panic. We have food storage, we have a chest freezer with some meat and food in it, we have a bed to sleep in, a roof over our heads and I just wrote out the (not-going-to-bounce) check for the internet bill so we'll have that for at least another month. (I should also mention that I paid the gas and power bills as well so we'll be able to take hot showers and use the internet I paid for.) We are a lot better off than some. I have a job and I get paid every week so, even though it's scary- and I HATE living from paycheck to paycheck- I know that the longest we'll go without money is one week.

I could have never supported us on my income alone when we lived in UT. Our bills were hundreds of dollars more than they are here. Branden will get a job soon. I have to believe that it will happen. Because when I let myself think he won't, and when I let myself feel the enormity of supporting both of us with no plan and no changes on the horizon, and when I think about the money we aren't managing to save for our wedding, I cry.... And I panic and I forget all the things we are managing to do. So yes, I have hit a low point. Today I am going to go to the zoo- which is free!- and I'll have a good day anyway.

Maybe You Need More Maths

My work has mini bagels on sale for $2.99 a package this week. Today a lady threw a fit because there was a 2/$6.00 sticker on one of the packages and she felt we weren't honoring that price when her bagels rang in at $2.99... She wanted her bagels to ring up as 2/$6.00 INSTEAD OF $2.99! Does anyone else see the problem here?

2/$6.00 equals $3.00 a package but when the bagels rang up at $2.99 she felt we weren't being fair to her. She WANTED to pay a penny more and we were ripping her off by not letting her pay that extra penny. Somehow, I don't think she actually did all that well in math.

Lunch And A Movie on My Day Off

Branden and I went on a mini-date today. We went to lunch- much cheaper than going out to dinner- and went to see a matinee of the movie 9. I liked the movie. I think it's probably not a movie for children. It is dark but I think the main reason it's not for kids is it's somewhat confusing for a while. I'll admit that I had to stop myself from asking questions at the beginning. I'm glad we went. It's been a while since we've treated ourselves and it really wasn't too expensive since we chose to go out in the early afternoon rather than evening.

Branden is still without job. It's not fun but we are still better off here. Even when I had a job in UT, I could not have paid our rent and bills as well as purchased groceries, etc., without Branden's help. We will be far better off when we again have two incomes but we are surviving right now. Branden has applied to CostCo and a few other places like that so we're hopeful that, while he may not immediately have his dream career, he will be bringing home a paycheck soon.

Today Was A Thursday

You know those days that you just shouldn't have gotten out of bed? Those days that things are just a mess and you feel like, if you could crawl back under the covers and go back to sleep, you could get up and start the day over and maybe, just maybe, everything would go right? Or, if not right, at least better? Well, for me, those days are Thursdays... EVERY Thursday since my second Thursday at this job. That was the Thursday that I had the "Worst Best Day."

Well, today was another Thursday... Starting when I woke up at 1 AM to go to the bathroom and Branden was still awake playing WoW. It became even more of a Thursday when I was jolted awake at 3:20 AM when Branden slammed the front door- probably by accident- when he went outside. Obviously, he was still awake and not in bed. That's when I informed him that he WAS coming to bed NOW at which point he tossed and turned and TALKED and kept me awake until my first alarm went off at 4:40 AM. Then he decided that he needed to go outside again. By the time he came back and I was able to doze off, it was 5:30 and my second alarm was buzzing. I managed to doze again but, when my last alarm went off at 6:00 AM, I had to admit that I'd pretty much been awake since that door slammed. But I was going to be fine because Thursday wasn't going to get me today.

I got up and started getting ready, walked out into the living room and found out that my front door had been unlocked for the last TWO HOURS! Nobody came in and nothing happened because of it... It's just the fact that it was unlocked. I made my sandwich with the potato bread I made on Sunday and then found that it wouldn't fit in a regular sandwich bag because the bread was too big. Thursday. I got out to my car and headed to work only to realize after I was on the interstate that Branden had failed to mention that the last time he'd borrowed my car the gas light came on. Ok, Thursday wasn't going to get me on this one because I leave for work EXCEPTIONALLY early and sit in the parking lot reading until it's time for me to clock in. This prevents me from hitting the worst of the traffic- though I still hit plenty- gives me some alone time and also allows me to have these sorts of emergencies. I took the first exit I could and discovered that there was a concrete median and no gas stations on my side of the road for about ten miles. I turned around and got to one of the two that were on the other side of the median, bought gas, got back on the interstate and made it to work with some time left for reading in the car.

I went in to work with the feeling that Thursday would not defeat me today... And promptly discovered that my work station was completely torn apart. Not only was there no icing, no tools, no tips, no ribbon and no sprinkles there were no tables! My ENTIRE work station was ripped out and in its place, in the midst of dust and concrete chunks the size of my fist, was a ladder extending into the black hole of the ceiling. Apparently there were some electricians trying to run wiring and the like for the new cases that will be installed on the 24th of this month- ALSO a Thursday, by the way. So I went around the bakery and found various items I would need to get going, including my plastic magazine rack that holds my orders. And that's when I discovered that I had a full sheet cake due at 9 AM and it was now 8:30 and I still couldn't find all my stuff. Thursday.

I managed to get the cake done just at 9- they didn't show until 11 but there's no way I could have known that. I then proceeded to create the cake that was due at 10. So far so good. Then the guys came down out of the ceiling to tell me that they were going to be leaving now and they'd be back tomorrow but I could move everything back if I wanted so long as I moved it out again before I went home. (REALLY? Would there have been a point in wasting all that time? I told them I'd just leave things as they were until I could actually put things back for good.) I will admit that I wasn't happy- ok, I was more than not happy- but I explained to the men that it wasn't that I was mad at them... It's just a Thursday. Turns out that my Thursday was rubbing off on them as they were drilling into what the blueprint claimed was a false wall but was, in reality, a wall of solid concrete. I apologized for affecting them with my Thursday. We were all far more cheerful after I explained that it was my fault and told them that if they'd been drilling on a Wednesday or Friday it would have been a false wall... But it's Thursday and I didn't blame them because there's no escaping a Thursday once it's caught you. Tomorrow will be better for all of us because it will be a Friday.

After they left, I went to get full sheet boxes from the back hallway and somehow ended up getting thick, black grease from the hinge of the freezer on my newly washed shirt. I still don't get it because I've never done that with any other freezer door and I've dealt with a lot of walk-in freezer doors. Thursday. Thankfully, it only smudged a little on my freshly washed, light tan khakis and I was able to get it out when I re-washed them this afternoon (I haven't tried washing the shirt yet) but now I'm getting ahead of myself. I managed to get all of my cakes done with only minor mishaps. Kerri, the assistant manager, informed me that Dana wanted me to make three different kinds of tortes on a day when my station was ripped out, I was busy with orders and I didn't have cream cheese icing because she didn't order it when I told her to order it. That won't matter to Dana, though... Thursday. Needless to say, I didn't make any of them. When she asks why I did not, I will explain to her what I already explained to her on Tuesday: I cannot ice cakes with no icing.

I was almost done, almost ready to run from work and try to leave my Thursday behind, when the phone rang. It was a customer wanting to confirm a cake she'd ordered for 6 AM tomorrow. No big deal, the cake was made and ready to go except... Apparently it was supposed to read "Happy 30th Anniversary Dave Zueschel" but MY MANAGER had written "Happy 30th Anniversary Dave and Zuechel" on the order form. Thursday. I will admit that I did the best job that I have EVER done picking the green "and" symbol off the cake and smoothing the icing. Even I could hardly tell when I was done... And that's saying a lot.

I got off work and headed home through rush hour traffic. I found out that Branden had not heard back from his interview on Tuesday- they were supposed to call today- so he probably did not get the job. Worse than just a Thursday. Because of this, Branden was grumpy and snappish all evening until I told him that I was sick of it and he needed to stop- yeah, I snapped at him, too, when I said that. I made an ok dinner and the rest of the evening has been as good as it can be. Now I'm going to bed. When I wake up it will be Friday and I will have survived yet another Thursday.