Going To UT Thursday

I fly out to UT Thursday morning. This afternoon I had a bit of a panicky moment when Amy, who was supposed to be picking me up from the airport, informed me that her work is now telling her she cannot be off at that time. Normally, this isn't a big deal EXCEPT that almost all of my immediate family is going to be down in St. George for Chantelle's wedding. For a few minutes I contemplated figuring out which UTA bus would take me to the Trax train that will take me from Salt Lake to Ogden and then walking from Union Station in Ogden to... Rick'n'Abby's probably. Thankfully, my amazing younger brother has decided that he will sacrifice some of his sleep to come and get me. I didn't want to ask as Rick works graves and really needs to sleep but as soon as I told him what was going on he was ready and willing. I'm so lucky to have such a great brother!

Now that Branden has a job on the horizon, I feel a little better about taking time off work. I am looking forward to spending time with my family. This is very likely the last time I will see James for the next two and a half to three years as he plans on going on a mission in March.

Unfortunately, I don't travel well. Yep, I wrinkle. :P Ok, my clothes get a little rumpled, but that's not what I mean. Almost every time I fly, I cry. I try not to but it seems like I am always leaving someone behind and I have these crazy fear-thoughts that something will happen while I'm away. I know it's not sensible but I will worry that Branden might get hurt or something while I'm gone and, not only will I not be there, I won't even KNOW! And I will miss him the whole time I'm gone. However, when the time comes to return to him, I will cry because I will miss my family.

Today I got an early dose of those feelings while I was packing- first, it's a miracle that I started packing today. I was putting my knee socks in my suitcase and it just hit me that I'm not going to see Branden for four days. I really needed a hug... He thinks I'm crazy. I'll be ok once I'm there but right now- and Thursday morning- I will have to deal with a few fear-thoughts.