Where Is Fall?

Today is October 11, and fall is not in the air! Autumn is supposed to be cool and crisp. Yesterday's high was 87!!!! In fact, the last five days have been over 70 and getting warmer. After three days of coming home to a apt which was much hotter than the air outside, we finally turned the a/c on again... For the second time since we "turned it off for the year."

This is very disappointing to me. While I'm enjoying wearing my comfy flip flops just a little while longer, I'm not liking the fact that my favorite season is being barreled over by a summer that just won't end! Who wants to pull out the hot chocolate and start making soup when there's not even the need for a jacket? This is usually such a great time with leaves changing and the excitement of things to come but... It's hard to get in the mood when everyone is wearing shorts and sandals and there's no bite in the air.

I Know I Need To...

Ok, so I should post a blog about our wedding and I'm going to do it. I've even STARTED said blog. But it seems that most people really want to see pictures of my wedding and I don't really have any yet. I could steal a few from Mindy's blog or I could just link you to her post for now. In the future I WILL post a massive blog with pictures and thoughts. Right now, though, I want to write a bit about our life since returning from UT.

We got back to MO on Tuesday, September 28 and I started my new job on Wednesday, September 29. I feel like I've learned a lot in the last week and the experience that I have has helped. My boss is great about answering questions and guiding me when I need it. Today was my first day without a trainer helping me and I THINK I did a pretty good job.

Branden has started training for his new position. He says that he's looking forward to being able to actually help people. Getting up early is taking a toll on him but it's been great to have the extra time together. The best part of his being tired is that I get more cuddling. :)

On Monday I went to the Social Security office and applied for my new social security card. Then I went to the DMV and got my new driver's license with my new name. It's official, I have a new last name! I am Mrs. Stage... Oddly enough, the Mrs. is stranger to me than the Stage. I'm not any good at signing my last name, but I did make sure to sign the right one on my new license. So far the government, my new job and the library are the only ones to have my new last name on record. I'll have to go to the bank and fix bills, etc., this week and next.

Along the same lines, we are both enjoying being married but it hasn't changed a lot of things for either of us. Since we already lived together, there are no surprises like finding out that he doesn't put down the toilet seat by falling into the toilet at 2 AM. It hasn't been strange calling him my husband. In fact, it seems completely normal, as if I've been calling him my husband for years. On the other hand, there is a small thrill in telling someone, "Oh, my husband is calling me." It feels so nice to have a husband.

I Should Be Asleep

I'm not usually one who has a problem sleeping in when I can but this week I can't even sleep until my alarm goes off. It doesn't matter what time I was planning on getting up, either. Yesterday we were going to be up by 7 AM so we'd have plenty of time to get ready and get to the County Clerk's office. I was wide awake at 6:30. Today we were thinking we'd have a bit of a relaxed morning with breakfast at the hotel so 8 or 8:30 would be ok. Yep, 7:15 I was cuddled next to Branden trying to doze off again and 7:30 I gave up.

Branden doesn't seem to share my sleep troubles. Then again, Branden is very good at sleeping in and even better at putting things out of his mind to do so. Even when he does wake up earlier than he wishes to get out of bed, he can usually manage to roll over and drift away again... And if I'm in bed at that time I usually get a bit of cuddling and an early "I love you" out of his brief moment of wakefulness. :)

I don't feel like I'm extra stressed right now. I really feel out of the loop. I'm here and I haven't had a real chance to sit down with my sisters and find out what's going on. My mom and I have had a chance to talk, I tried on my dress with her and there are just a few things we need to get done. Branden's mom, Mary Jo, jumped right in and helped with the boutonnieres and had them under control in no time. I had a fun chat with Stacy while she dyed my hair and it was great to see two of her kids. Katie brought all the girls together at her house for an evening of food, talking and laughter. Chantelle gave me lots of hugs and made sure our room was ready for us. Of course, Rick'n'Abby gave us a warm welcome our first night and Rick showed me my cake toppers... They are both adorable so I'll be displaying both of them. I've had a lot of fun but I still am not sure exactly how ready we are for tomorrow.

Feeling out of the loop is no reason to be awake early so I have to think that I'm more stressed than I feel. I'm getting married tomorrow... Maybe I'm just too excited to sleep. It feels unreal and thrilling at the same time. After all this time, I'm getting married tomorrow. :)

"There's Only Two Things In This Life I Hate: Heights and Jumping From Them."

I'm not a leaper. I don't jump off things, I have no desire to sky dive or bungee jump and I dislike the feeling of falling even when I'm strapped in to a roller coaster. And I don't take leaps of faith.

My "leap"of faith often involves standing with my toes near the edge and thinking. Then I may move one foot until my big toe hangs over the edge and think some more. Then I move my foot back and keep thinking... This goes on for a while- Branden will tell you he feels it goes on for too long with too much thinking. By the time I've decided whether or not to leap, it's often too late to leap. Either that or I've thought of all the bad things never leap because I was too scared. Very few times in my life have I just leaped.

But today I leaped. I turned in my two-week notice at work. On Wednesday I found an ad on Craigslist, on Thursday I interviewed and was offered the job, on Friday I decided to accept the job... And today I quit. The thing is, I'm taking a pay cut BUT I'll be working at a cake shop and there are opportunities for advancement.

I am TERRIFIED. What if we can't make ends meet? What if I just made a terrible mistake? What if... All the other what-ifs out there.

One thing that I've avoided talking about on here, though, is how miserable I am at work... How rude my boss is to me and how she talks about me behind my back. I don't mention that no matter how hard I work or how happy a customer is with their cake, I have still done something wrong in her eyes and she will immediately insult me after I get a compliment. I haven't told you about the girl I snapped at in June who hasn't spoken to me since and who goes out of her way to make my job harder. I have purposely left out all the bad days that I cried on the way home and all the times that I've had to bite my tongue. I haven't said anything about all of that.

So today I leaped. I'll either fall or fly but either way, I've left the edge and I'm on my way to wherever I'm going. In the immortal words of Rizzo the Rat: "God Save My Little Broken Body!"

The Kind of Day I Can Feel Good About

Today was a successful day. There wasn't anything extra special that I managed to get done but I have completed everything in my to do list and just feel good.

I did laundry. I cleaned a little and took out garbage. I paid rent. I went grocery shopping... I LOVE grocery shopping, but that's another post. I baked chicken for sandwiches for this next week. (Yep, we're spoiled. I make our sandwiches from oven roasted lemon chicken instead of lunch meat.) I made chicken and rice for dinner- still a favorite after all these years. I started a checklist of things to be finished for our wedding and found some links to share to help my sisters and mom see some of my vision. Oh, and I sent out a mass email to my FB wedding group requesting addresses because my wedding is LESS THAN FOUR WEEKS AWAY and lots of people still haven't given us addresses.

All in all, a good day. Not a bad way to start my wedding month. HOLY COW!!! It's my wedding month, everyone! FINALLY! :)

Notably Positive

-Wedding planning is coming along. We bought our rings- the same titanium band for both of us. We bought shoes for both of us. We've purchased our plane tickets and booked our rental car. We've sent out lots of invitations- still have more to send, though. I've sent fabric to my mom and she is sewing a simple jacket for me. :) And many more things that I cannot recall at this time. All of this doesn't prevent me from having wedding nightmares, but it has changed them... Unfortunately, now most of my wedding nightmares involve Branden leaving me just before the wedding. BUT this is a notably POSITIVE blog so I shouldn't dwell on the nightmares. In good news, Branden has assured me many times that he has no intentions to leave me. :)

-I made potato soup from scratch for the first time ever today. I had leftover baked potatoes that I needed to use and remembered that my mom makes her potato soup from such leftovers. I called her up and she was kind enough to share her potato-soup-making insights with me. All the recipes I'd seen online seemed fairly complicated but my mom's was simple and it turned out deliciously! I realize that most of you moms have probably made things much more impressive than potato soup- ok, I suppose that I have, too- but since I've never made potato soup before, I feel a great sense of accomplishment.

-Branden got a job in a different department at work. He'll start training in mid-September and by mid-October he'll be on a different schedule. In this new department, he'll always be off work by 8 PM. His current schedule has him off work at 9PM, which is a vast improvement to his former schedule of leaving work at midnight. Still, I look forward to the guarantee of at least one extra hour with him.

I can't remember the rest of the positive things I've thought I needed to write about recently. I'm sure I'll remember some later and I'll write another post then. :)

Third Anniversary

Today was Branden and my third anniversary... And I JUST remembered!

I feel a little guilty but I think he forgot, too, so I'm trying to use that to temper my guilt a little. There's just been so much going on with the wedding planning and everything else... I was sitting here on the couch thinking about Halloween candy- don't ask- which made me think that Halloween was our engagiversary but this year it won't mean quite the same thing as we'll already be married and then a terrible feeling washed over me. I looked down at my phone and, sure enough, today is August 18!

Three years ago today, I was wandering around Smith's (the grocery store) with Branden while talking to Rick on the phone when Branden referred to himself as my "idiot boyfriend." Up until that point, he'd been pretty firm that he was my roommate and, even though I knew we were going to be more, he still needed time to decide. Needless to say, his statement distracted me from my conversation with Rick. I turned to Branden and asked, "Are you my idiot boyfriend, then?" As it turns out, he was! :) I know, it's a SUPER romantic story.

I guess we've just been too busy looking toward the future to celebrate this step in time. It's our last dating anniversary. I'm a little sad, but it was probably inevitable that this anniversary would be overlooked. The next big one will be our one year wedding anniversary.

*Update* Branden came home and, it turns out, he did indeed forget our anniversary as well. At least I'm not the only one!

Last Shot... First One In That Spot

Today I went to the doctor and was injected with my last birth control shot maybe ever. That's right, this shot will last into November and then it's time to let my cycle come back and, hopefully, get a family going. :) I like to think that I have accepted that this may take a while... I'm sure none of you will be surprised if I get impatient and realize that I actually haven't accepted anything.

Back to the shot, though: Every, and I mean EVERY single birth control shot I've ever received has been in my arm. Yeah it hurts and I have a bit of a dead arm for a day or two but it's what I've always done so it's what I planned on doing again. Nope! Apparently, I was given the wrong syringe for that when my prescription was filled so this time I got a shot to the butt. At first I thought, "Wow, I barely felt that! That wasn't so bad."

I was SO WRONG!!! Holy burning buttcheek, Batman! I literally took two steps and the entire top half of the left side of my nether-region began burning like I'd been injected with some kind of acid. It stopped burning after ten minutes or so only to be replaced by a deep ache. It hurts to move, it hurts to sit, it hurts to stand still, it just hurts in general! What the crap?!?! Compared to this, the dead-ish arm was a breeze!

What's Wronng With Our Refrigerator?

For the last few days something strange has been happening in my refrigerator. Three times I have gone to get my carrots out of the fridge and found that they were frozen. Each time they were in a different place but always near the front. Today I pulled eggs out and the two left in one carton were frozen- also in a different place than the carrots, this time near the back- but the eggs in the carton below were all fine. What is happening?! I guess I should have realized that eggs can freeze in-shell but it was quite the surreal experience to crack an egg and have the whole raw egg stay in one half when the shell was pulled apart... Twice.

I cleaned out the fridge and Branden turned down the temp in the freezer 'cuz he said it would help. Incidentally, nothing else in the fridge was frozen. Our fridge is now dramatically emptier- can't believe what a difference removing a few things makes!- and now we wait and see what happens next. I've never had a fridge that froze just one thing and nothing else. Has this sort of thing ever happened to any of you?

Early Morning Adventures

Early this morning, around 2 in-the-AM, Branden and I went outside so he could smoke. He locked the door of our apartment behind us and we headed down the stairs. Once outside, Branden got in his car and was looking around. He then got out, locked the door and shut it. He stood there for a second then looked at me and asked if I'd brought my keys... No, no, I didn't. And there were his keys, sitting nicely on the seat of his locked car.

It was after 2 AM and we were locked out of the car and the apartment. We had no cell phones and no keys. I won't deny that I kinda laughed a bit- it may have had a slightly manic sound to it, but it was STILL laughter!

After a quick check of the apartment building basement to see if we could find something that would help us unlock the car and coming up empty-handed, we considered our options. It came down to spending the night outside in the heat and humidity and getting someone to let us in after the office opened or walking to QuikTrip to call a locksmith. Neither option was great but walking to QuikTrip seemed best and, thankfully, Branden had his wallet so we could buy something to drink and get change for a pay phone. So we made the 1/4 mile walk to QuikTrip, which actually wasn't entirely un-enjoyable. I used to restroom- thank you for your always open restrooms, QT!- and Branden called a locksmith.

Back to the apartment we walked to wait for the locksmith. In the absence of watches/clocks/cell phones, time was doing funny things and it was hard to guess how much time had passed. We leaned on the dew-covered car and waited, and waited, and waited. There was a surprising amount of traffic and goings-on at our apartments even though it was between 2 and 3 AM. The locksmith finally arrived and in less than a minute he had the car door open and Branden had the keys in-hand. Amazingly, we paid only $80 for this early morning service.

By 3:30 AM we were back inside with the A/C. Needless to say, as we crawled into bed at 4 AM we decided to scrap our morning plans and sleep in.