I'm a little frustrated right now. The annoying thing is, I don't really know why. Or I do, but I don't know why it's frustrating me so much.
We had to take everything off the laundry room shelf today and it's all over the kitchen. The laundry room is a mess, the kitchen is a mess... And it's making me frustrated. The obvious answer would be to clean it all up, but we're not done in the laundry room. So I'm frustrated because I'm making dinner in a messy kitchen. And I'm frustrated because it's a dinner I don't want to make... But Branden asked for it and I don't have any other answers for dinner so I'm making it.
Maybe I'm just in a not good mood. Things haven't worked the way they were planned this weekend. Rick and Abby's party went well on Friday. In fact, everyone seemed to really like my cheesecake and Rick took the leftovers home to enjoy later. The cookie dip also went over pretty well. We had a great time talking to everyone and playing games. So that part of the weekend went well.
Branden had a birthday get-together planned for me yesterday. It was supposed to be a surprise but... He had to tell me because there were scheduling conflicts. And then everyone bailed. Every single one of my best friends found excuses to not be there. I'm moving in two months and not one person found the time to be there for my last birthday get-together here with friends. I told Katie to go to the other party so that was my doing and I can't hold that against her. Branden and I went out to dinner last night instead. It was a good night out, but both of us are frustrated with what happened.
Then today we had laundry issues which are mostly resolved, but not totally. And as I was getting laundry started I realized that I forgot to buy the laundry soap when I went to Wal-Mart on Friday, which was the reason I decided that I HAD to go to Wal-Mart when I did. So half-way through our TEN LOADS of laundry- thanks for that, Branden- I ran out of laundry soap. Yeah, I'm not in a great mood.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Return Of The Hobo Spiders
It looks like we have hobo spiders again. :S It's too early in the season for them to be very big, but the cats chased after three different little spiders in the living room today. I can't be POSITIVE that they're hobos as they were the right color and the right body shape but too small for me to make out any markings. However, considering LAST year's infestation, I'd say there's little chance they were any other kind of spider.
I know for a fact that it was hobo spiders that infested last year because my mom and I took a couple to a pest guy. He identified it and told me what pesticide to get... It's a pretty serious one that can only be sprayed outside. Also he said it is the only one that will kill them.
Branden has already sprayed the crazy hobo-spider-killing-neurotoxin once this year. I think it was late February that it warmed up enough for most of the snow to melt so he sprayed then. But it HAS snowed quite a bit since then so it's not surprising if the stuff that should last 3 months only lasted for one or two. So he's out there spraying again right now. Judging by last year, he'll probably have to spray AGAIN before we move at the end of June.
I really don't like hobo spiders. Poisonous spiders are bad enough. VICIOUS poisonous spiders are terrible. Just the thought makes me all itchy and creeped out. Last year they were ALL over the laundry room, garage and basement. Not to mention the visitors to the kitchen. Thankfully we never saw any in the bedroom. People tried to tell me that they don't like to be around humans and they generally stay down in the corners around the bottom of walls. Not THESE hobo spiders! They run right across the floor, they hang out on the ceiling, they TRY TO ATTACK MY FOOT when I step into the laundry room... They're not normal and they are MEAN!
OH! Kill them, Branden, KILL THEM!
I know for a fact that it was hobo spiders that infested last year because my mom and I took a couple to a pest guy. He identified it and told me what pesticide to get... It's a pretty serious one that can only be sprayed outside. Also he said it is the only one that will kill them.
Branden has already sprayed the crazy hobo-spider-killing-neurotoxin once this year. I think it was late February that it warmed up enough for most of the snow to melt so he sprayed then. But it HAS snowed quite a bit since then so it's not surprising if the stuff that should last 3 months only lasted for one or two. So he's out there spraying again right now. Judging by last year, he'll probably have to spray AGAIN before we move at the end of June.
I really don't like hobo spiders. Poisonous spiders are bad enough. VICIOUS poisonous spiders are terrible. Just the thought makes me all itchy and creeped out. Last year they were ALL over the laundry room, garage and basement. Not to mention the visitors to the kitchen. Thankfully we never saw any in the bedroom. People tried to tell me that they don't like to be around humans and they generally stay down in the corners around the bottom of walls. Not THESE hobo spiders! They run right across the floor, they hang out on the ceiling, they TRY TO ATTACK MY FOOT when I step into the laundry room... They're not normal and they are MEAN!
OH! Kill them, Branden, KILL THEM!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday Breakfasts
Remembering how much I loved it when my dad would make us big breakfasts, I decided that I should make Sunday breakfast for Branden. So I've made breakfast almost every Sunday since we moved into this house. (He really is spoiled.) In the beginning it was hard to convince Branden that I was ok with this- funny how he has never had ANY problem with my working all day then coming home and making dinner. I didn't want to make breakfast if he didn't want to eat it- he's an abnormal guy when it comes to eating and sometimes isn't hungry! Because I needed the reassurance that he'd eat it, he got it into his head that I didn't really want to make breakfast. Not so!
Recent happenings - my being sick among them- have interrupted our breakfast routine. I didn't realize how important this Sunday "tradition" had become to Branden until today. While I was cooking this morning he told me how excited he was for breakfast. I jokingly said that he waits all week just for Sunday morning to come around... Turns out my joke wasn't far from the truth. He said that his whole life has been fairly devoid of breakfast until I started making it for him. He actually DOES get all excited for chocolate chip pancakes, bacon and eggs made just for him.
Suddenly I'm realizing how lucky I am that my dad loves big breakfasts and was nice enough to make many for us. And my mom was really great about making sure that we ate before going to school. Sometimes it was just cold cereal, but other times it was pancakes or waffles or eggs and bacon or French toast... And during the winter there was always hot chocolate. What great memories and knowledge of love I have because my mom woke up at least half an hour early so I could go to school with a full stomach. The same goes for my dad: Breakfasts are part of the reason I know he loves me. Right now I'm lucky enough to be able to see my parents every Monday and almost every week my dad makes me breakfast and I know how loved I am.
Such a simple thing, providing a morning meal, and yet it means so much. I don't know what will happen with whatever job I get. It may turn out that I'm no longer off work on Sunday mornings and the traditions will have to change. I hope that's not the case. For all the yelling and dropping of things that I do every time I make breakfast, I do enjoy making it and REALLY enjoy the finished product.
*Just a side note* I'm quite impressed with how well my dad keeps track of things! I inevitably burn at least two pancakes, or make the bacon too crispy or drop eggs or cooking utensils on the ground. Maybe there's some sort of breakfast zen that I haven't yet learned to tap into... Or maybe he's just THAT good.
Recent happenings - my being sick among them- have interrupted our breakfast routine. I didn't realize how important this Sunday "tradition" had become to Branden until today. While I was cooking this morning he told me how excited he was for breakfast. I jokingly said that he waits all week just for Sunday morning to come around... Turns out my joke wasn't far from the truth. He said that his whole life has been fairly devoid of breakfast until I started making it for him. He actually DOES get all excited for chocolate chip pancakes, bacon and eggs made just for him.
Suddenly I'm realizing how lucky I am that my dad loves big breakfasts and was nice enough to make many for us. And my mom was really great about making sure that we ate before going to school. Sometimes it was just cold cereal, but other times it was pancakes or waffles or eggs and bacon or French toast... And during the winter there was always hot chocolate. What great memories and knowledge of love I have because my mom woke up at least half an hour early so I could go to school with a full stomach. The same goes for my dad: Breakfasts are part of the reason I know he loves me. Right now I'm lucky enough to be able to see my parents every Monday and almost every week my dad makes me breakfast and I know how loved I am.
Such a simple thing, providing a morning meal, and yet it means so much. I don't know what will happen with whatever job I get. It may turn out that I'm no longer off work on Sunday mornings and the traditions will have to change. I hope that's not the case. For all the yelling and dropping of things that I do every time I make breakfast, I do enjoy making it and REALLY enjoy the finished product.
*Just a side note* I'm quite impressed with how well my dad keeps track of things! I inevitably burn at least two pancakes, or make the bacon too crispy or drop eggs or cooking utensils on the ground. Maybe there's some sort of breakfast zen that I haven't yet learned to tap into... Or maybe he's just THAT good.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
I Forgot To Mention In My Last Post...
One more thing about the party last night: I hadn't seen Sasha in about a month. When I walked in he looked at me and asked if I'd lost weight! It was SUCH a great feeling because I have been trying and didn't think anyone could tell.
I have officially lost 5 lbs, but I can tell that things are changing which really have nothing to do with the weight loss. My jeans aren't loose yet, but I can see the muscle in my calves firming up and I think my butt is firming, too. There's just a little slimming starting in a few places and it makes me feel good, but I thought I was the only one seeing it. I'm a LONG way from done, but the fact that someone NOTICED is SO encouraging!
I see most of my family too often for them to notice so it's ok that they haven't. And of COURSE Branden hasn't noticed. He probably won't notice till it's time for me to get new jeans... IF he notices then. I love him, but he's a typical guy.
I have officially lost 5 lbs, but I can tell that things are changing which really have nothing to do with the weight loss. My jeans aren't loose yet, but I can see the muscle in my calves firming up and I think my butt is firming, too. There's just a little slimming starting in a few places and it makes me feel good, but I thought I was the only one seeing it. I'm a LONG way from done, but the fact that someone NOTICED is SO encouraging!
I see most of my family too often for them to notice so it's ok that they haven't. And of COURSE Branden hasn't noticed. He probably won't notice till it's time for me to get new jeans... IF he notices then. I love him, but he's a typical guy.
The Party Which Wasn't For Me On My Birthday
Sooo... It's my birthday!
Earlier I was feeling rather frustrated because instead of celebrating today, I was making food- I specifically asked that I not have to make dinner tonight- for Branden's friend's going-away party. I told Branden about three weeks ago not to make plans with anyone else today because it's my birthday and I thought we should try to celebrate. Then a little more than two weeks ago he came home and said, "Ok, not this Friday but the next..."
"You mean my birthday?"
"That's your birthday? Your birthday is a Friday?"
"Yes! The 24th. It's written on the calendar in big, blue letters."
"Like I look at the calendar. Anyway, that's Josh's going-away party because he's headed back to Vermont the Monday after."
"I TOLD you not to make plans! That's my birthday!"
Yeah, he was in trouble. And today while I was making the food he'd volunteered to bring- really volunteered me to make- he was in even more trouble, though he didn't know it. I was mostly frustrated because he pretty much took it for granted that I would just do all this and that I wouldn't mind going to this party instead of celebrating. AND he was in trouble because he admitted that he and the guys fully planned to drink as much beer as they could and he'd be drunk on my birthday night. Not something that makes me happy. I don't mind letting him drink and I drive, but... To sound selfish and childish: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! I don't think that's very fair! Most likely the only thing that kept me from being in a really foul mood this afternoon was all the great love and birthday wishes I recieved from my friends and family. :)
As it turned out, the evening went ok. The party was at the mechanic shop and lots of people showed up. It was the first time that anyone had used Branden's "new" gas grill that he earned through doing some electrical work. It's a pretty nice grill: professional, six burner, gas grill which folds down to be about a foot tall. All the guys loved it and were completely jealous of him.
*A side note about this grill* When we first knew he was getting it, Branden insisted that we should sell it because we needed the money. I reminded him that this was something he'd really wanted for a long time and it was ok with me to keep it. Forms of this conversation have happened over and over for the past couple of months. Today he told me that he really likes the grill with a kind of hopeful look in his eyes. I informed him that we are keeping it. We will probably never have the chance to get something that nice for that little ever again. Why give up something he really wants when we finally have it? We honestly have about five or six charcoal grills that we will be getting rid of instead. I believe that three of them are spoken for at this point. *Now back to the party that wasn't for me.*
I had made slow cooker BBQ drumsticks which also went over really well. It felt great when I'd see the guys going back for extra helpings and lots of people gave me compliments. Along with that, I also made a cheese dip that was pretty ok and some treats that were essintially PB crispy treats made from honey nut Cheerios with chocolate spread over the entire thing. Those went fairly well. The recipe made more than I thought it would so one foil pan was never cut into. That was ok because one of the other mechanics asked if he could take the whole pan and I was more than willing to let him.
Sasha- the owner of the shop- came up to me and thanked me for doing so much work. It's funny, but by the time he did that it didn't seem like such a big deal anymore. Maybe it was the compliments or maybe it was just the good time that everyone was having. As it turned out, I was glad to add to the success of the evening.
I did tell Branden that he owed me for me giving up my birthday evening and for my having to make dinner on my birthday. He offered to take me out tomorrow night to a restaurant for which we have a gift card. That's acceptable to me.
Earlier I was feeling rather frustrated because instead of celebrating today, I was making food- I specifically asked that I not have to make dinner tonight- for Branden's friend's going-away party. I told Branden about three weeks ago not to make plans with anyone else today because it's my birthday and I thought we should try to celebrate. Then a little more than two weeks ago he came home and said, "Ok, not this Friday but the next..."
"You mean my birthday?"
"That's your birthday? Your birthday is a Friday?"
"Yes! The 24th. It's written on the calendar in big, blue letters."
"Like I look at the calendar. Anyway, that's Josh's going-away party because he's headed back to Vermont the Monday after."
"I TOLD you not to make plans! That's my birthday!"
Yeah, he was in trouble. And today while I was making the food he'd volunteered to bring- really volunteered me to make- he was in even more trouble, though he didn't know it. I was mostly frustrated because he pretty much took it for granted that I would just do all this and that I wouldn't mind going to this party instead of celebrating. AND he was in trouble because he admitted that he and the guys fully planned to drink as much beer as they could and he'd be drunk on my birthday night. Not something that makes me happy. I don't mind letting him drink and I drive, but... To sound selfish and childish: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! I don't think that's very fair! Most likely the only thing that kept me from being in a really foul mood this afternoon was all the great love and birthday wishes I recieved from my friends and family. :)
As it turned out, the evening went ok. The party was at the mechanic shop and lots of people showed up. It was the first time that anyone had used Branden's "new" gas grill that he earned through doing some electrical work. It's a pretty nice grill: professional, six burner, gas grill which folds down to be about a foot tall. All the guys loved it and were completely jealous of him.
*A side note about this grill* When we first knew he was getting it, Branden insisted that we should sell it because we needed the money. I reminded him that this was something he'd really wanted for a long time and it was ok with me to keep it. Forms of this conversation have happened over and over for the past couple of months. Today he told me that he really likes the grill with a kind of hopeful look in his eyes. I informed him that we are keeping it. We will probably never have the chance to get something that nice for that little ever again. Why give up something he really wants when we finally have it? We honestly have about five or six charcoal grills that we will be getting rid of instead. I believe that three of them are spoken for at this point. *Now back to the party that wasn't for me.*
I had made slow cooker BBQ drumsticks which also went over really well. It felt great when I'd see the guys going back for extra helpings and lots of people gave me compliments. Along with that, I also made a cheese dip that was pretty ok and some treats that were essintially PB crispy treats made from honey nut Cheerios with chocolate spread over the entire thing. Those went fairly well. The recipe made more than I thought it would so one foil pan was never cut into. That was ok because one of the other mechanics asked if he could take the whole pan and I was more than willing to let him.
Sasha- the owner of the shop- came up to me and thanked me for doing so much work. It's funny, but by the time he did that it didn't seem like such a big deal anymore. Maybe it was the compliments or maybe it was just the good time that everyone was having. As it turned out, I was glad to add to the success of the evening.
I did tell Branden that he owed me for me giving up my birthday evening and for my having to make dinner on my birthday. He offered to take me out tomorrow night to a restaurant for which we have a gift card. That's acceptable to me.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Tomorrow I'll Be 27
I'm kinda in an odd mood right now. Among other things, tomorrow is my birthday... A day that is always bittersweet. I like to take a little time to do a year in review around my birthday time and I haven't done that yet. Sometimes it makes me feel a little better about things so I probably should.
I went to Kourtney's viewing today. She was beautiful. I'm mostly glad that I went because I felt like I needed to hug Kazia. I don't know if she needed a hug from me, but... I needed to give one to her. If there's one thing that I feel the need to do well, it's hug. I want to give the kind of hug I wish to recieve. And even though a hug won't fix a lot of things, it's a simple guesture that I can give. I hope that when I hugged her she knew that I really care.
By the way, I almost never turn down a hug so feel free to open your arms and I'll give you one back. Honestly, hugs are one of my favorite things. I think I'm gonna make Branden hug me as soon as I can get his attention away from his game.
I went to Kourtney's viewing today. She was beautiful. I'm mostly glad that I went because I felt like I needed to hug Kazia. I don't know if she needed a hug from me, but... I needed to give one to her. If there's one thing that I feel the need to do well, it's hug. I want to give the kind of hug I wish to recieve. And even though a hug won't fix a lot of things, it's a simple guesture that I can give. I hope that when I hugged her she knew that I really care.
By the way, I almost never turn down a hug so feel free to open your arms and I'll give you one back. Honestly, hugs are one of my favorite things. I think I'm gonna make Branden hug me as soon as I can get his attention away from his game.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
In Memory
I desperately want to write a "fluff" blog and pretend that everything is right everywhere. But I can't. I feel I should take a moment to acknowledge the passing of a special spirit before I continue on with my life.
I worked for many years in the bakery of South Ogden Maceys. While there, I had the chance to work with and get to know Kazia. To this day, she is one of the very few people with whom I have worked VERY closely at times and still never had a major disagreement. This is probably more because of her than me. She has an incredible amount of patience and I'm sure I tried it more than once. She is an amazing cake decorator and, even though it has been a few years since we have worked together, I still consider her to be a good friend and value her opinion highly.
This past Saturday, while I was celebrating my upcoming birthday, Kazia's family was experiencing the loss of their sweet baby. For some reason, I have been one who has never experienced the loss of someone I truly knew and loved. I don't know why I have so little loss in my life while others have more. I admit that there is no way I can even begin to imagine how they were feeling that day. I do know this: Kourtney's family loved her deeply and she will be missed.
Kazia, my heart and thoughts are with your family. Though I was only able to meet your daughter a couple of times, I will never forget her and the life and memories you shared with me during our conversations. If there is any measure of peace or assistence that I can provide, please let me know.
I worked for many years in the bakery of South Ogden Maceys. While there, I had the chance to work with and get to know Kazia. To this day, she is one of the very few people with whom I have worked VERY closely at times and still never had a major disagreement. This is probably more because of her than me. She has an incredible amount of patience and I'm sure I tried it more than once. She is an amazing cake decorator and, even though it has been a few years since we have worked together, I still consider her to be a good friend and value her opinion highly.
This past Saturday, while I was celebrating my upcoming birthday, Kazia's family was experiencing the loss of their sweet baby. For some reason, I have been one who has never experienced the loss of someone I truly knew and loved. I don't know why I have so little loss in my life while others have more. I admit that there is no way I can even begin to imagine how they were feeling that day. I do know this: Kourtney's family loved her deeply and she will be missed.
Kazia, my heart and thoughts are with your family. Though I was only able to meet your daughter a couple of times, I will never forget her and the life and memories you shared with me during our conversations. If there is any measure of peace or assistence that I can provide, please let me know.
Friday, April 17, 2009
My Most Memorable Birthday Cake
One week ago I was diagnosed with the Influenza. I am almost well again. Just a minor amount of congestion and a little bit of a cough before all signs of illness are gone. This is good. It means that I was one of the lucky ones and it really was a seven-day disease for me. :)
Tomorrow marks the last day of what should have been my work week. I'm still a little disoriented and feeling like I'm sleep walking a little. Things just don't seem real.
I wrote more to this blog, but it made me all sad and I started crying. So I've decided to save that part for a different day when I won't cry about it... If such a day exists. Instead I want to write about my 16th birthday party.
I did not have a sweet sixteen. We were in the process of moving from OK and there was no time, and probably no money, for a proper sweet sixteen party. My dad and Allan had already moved to UT in March so it was my mom, Bekkie, all the younger kids and me. My mom put the table on the back porch (I remember it was a beautiful day) and put the special birthday tablecloth on it. We ate dinner- most likely chicken and rice as that's a favorite of mine- then my mom brought out the cake. We didn't normally do a lot of special cakes in my family, but this one was special. Katie- maybe with some help, though I can't recall for sure- had taken the time to cut out the various body parts of a Mr. Potato Head (yes, I really liked him at the time even though I was 16), frosted and assembled them into a cake complete with arms and a moustache. It was my most memorable birthday cake.
I don't really like cake all that much anymore. I normally request brownies and the like to be served at my family parties now. But I will never forget that simple 16th birthday party and the love that was put into that cake. I don't know if I ever really thanked Katie and whatever helpers she had... Thank you for the cake and so much more.
Tomorrow marks the last day of what should have been my work week. I'm still a little disoriented and feeling like I'm sleep walking a little. Things just don't seem real.
I wrote more to this blog, but it made me all sad and I started crying. So I've decided to save that part for a different day when I won't cry about it... If such a day exists. Instead I want to write about my 16th birthday party.
I did not have a sweet sixteen. We were in the process of moving from OK and there was no time, and probably no money, for a proper sweet sixteen party. My dad and Allan had already moved to UT in March so it was my mom, Bekkie, all the younger kids and me. My mom put the table on the back porch (I remember it was a beautiful day) and put the special birthday tablecloth on it. We ate dinner- most likely chicken and rice as that's a favorite of mine- then my mom brought out the cake. We didn't normally do a lot of special cakes in my family, but this one was special. Katie- maybe with some help, though I can't recall for sure- had taken the time to cut out the various body parts of a Mr. Potato Head (yes, I really liked him at the time even though I was 16), frosted and assembled them into a cake complete with arms and a moustache. It was my most memorable birthday cake.
I don't really like cake all that much anymore. I normally request brownies and the like to be served at my family parties now. But I will never forget that simple 16th birthday party and the love that was put into that cake. I don't know if I ever really thanked Katie and whatever helpers she had... Thank you for the cake and so much more.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Tax Day
I mailed off the parts of our taxes that couldn't be sent online. The state of UT thinks I owe them $16 and since I don't have any way to disprove this, I paid it.
It's snowing again. One week ago I was looking out the window at work and hoping for the thunderstorm that Weather.com promised me. It snowed then, too. Funny what a difference one week makes... But not funny ha-ha. I don't think I have a full grasp of the fact that I no longer have a job. It doesn't seem real, though I cry a lot.
I'm nearing better. The influenza is down to some coughing, some sneezing and some congestion. No more eyes hurting and teeth hurting. Last night Branden did have to wake me up and give me cough syrup so I could really sleep. I recall that I kept having to sit up because I was coughing so much, but I was SO TIRED that I wasn't really waking up. The cough syrup helped and Branden said I didn't cough very much after that.
My birthday party with my family is this Saturday. I try not to think about my birthday too much because it makes me cry more. Actually, I think it makes me cry the most. I hope I can stop crying by Saturday because I don't want to cry at my birthday party. My birthday kinda depresses me every year but this year...... My birthday is the 24th so if anyone remembers I wouldn't mind having people wish me a Happy Birthday and a better next year. I kinda thought this year would be ok... Like things would get easier and more sorted out with life. I got engaged in this last year so SOMETHING turned out right. Let's all hope for more right when I'm 27.
I took my "personalized" Smith's coupons to the store and bought a little bit of food. I was really careful to only buy things that were on sale or that I had a coupon for and knew I would use. I got 1 dozen eggs for FREE! I don't know how to express the wonderfullness that is free eggs. I saved $9 and paid out $33. That's ok with me. Sometimes I'm an even better shopper than that. Maybe when we are in a place with more shopping options I'll be able to shop the ads a little more and cut coupons out of the paper. I'd like to think that I could be a really smart shopper given the opportunity.
I saw a terrible accident on my way home from the post office and grocery store. I'm not sure what happened, but it looked like a semi opened up the top of a car and then twisted the whole car so the insides were the outsides and the outsides were the insides. Then a couple other cars attacked the semi. When I went past, the twisted car was on the back of a flat-bed tow truck and it was sticking out in all the wrong directions. They were trying to secure it but pieces were literally falling off into the ditch. It seems that nobody could have survived that... But I hope somehow they did.
So those are some thoughts I have this tax day. I'm not all in this reality at the moment, so please forgive the detached nature.
It's snowing again. One week ago I was looking out the window at work and hoping for the thunderstorm that Weather.com promised me. It snowed then, too. Funny what a difference one week makes... But not funny ha-ha. I don't think I have a full grasp of the fact that I no longer have a job. It doesn't seem real, though I cry a lot.
I'm nearing better. The influenza is down to some coughing, some sneezing and some congestion. No more eyes hurting and teeth hurting. Last night Branden did have to wake me up and give me cough syrup so I could really sleep. I recall that I kept having to sit up because I was coughing so much, but I was SO TIRED that I wasn't really waking up. The cough syrup helped and Branden said I didn't cough very much after that.
My birthday party with my family is this Saturday. I try not to think about my birthday too much because it makes me cry more. Actually, I think it makes me cry the most. I hope I can stop crying by Saturday because I don't want to cry at my birthday party. My birthday kinda depresses me every year but this year...... My birthday is the 24th so if anyone remembers I wouldn't mind having people wish me a Happy Birthday and a better next year. I kinda thought this year would be ok... Like things would get easier and more sorted out with life. I got engaged in this last year so SOMETHING turned out right. Let's all hope for more right when I'm 27.
I took my "personalized" Smith's coupons to the store and bought a little bit of food. I was really careful to only buy things that were on sale or that I had a coupon for and knew I would use. I got 1 dozen eggs for FREE! I don't know how to express the wonderfullness that is free eggs. I saved $9 and paid out $33. That's ok with me. Sometimes I'm an even better shopper than that. Maybe when we are in a place with more shopping options I'll be able to shop the ads a little more and cut coupons out of the paper. I'd like to think that I could be a really smart shopper given the opportunity.
I saw a terrible accident on my way home from the post office and grocery store. I'm not sure what happened, but it looked like a semi opened up the top of a car and then twisted the whole car so the insides were the outsides and the outsides were the insides. Then a couple other cars attacked the semi. When I went past, the twisted car was on the back of a flat-bed tow truck and it was sticking out in all the wrong directions. They were trying to secure it but pieces were literally falling off into the ditch. It seems that nobody could have survived that... But I hope somehow they did.
So those are some thoughts I have this tax day. I'm not all in this reality at the moment, so please forgive the detached nature.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
And Now It's My Turn :(
Well, I expected to maybe get a disappointed talking to for being sick and not working the big party on Saturday... I got laid off instead. They say that they just had to cut costs so they cut me. I'm still not sure it wasn't because I was sick. One way or the other, it doesn't really matter. I am without job.
I've calmed down for the moment. Later I will be crying and freaking out again. Right now I am numb and a little hurt. I've never been let go from any job before. This is a first. Branden tells me it's not a reflection on me or my work... It feels like it. With the mess from Unemployment, I'm not even sure if I can get any money that way, though I am trying.
I will be looking everywhere for a job and we will be moving... No questions asked, we will be moving. We already were going to be struggling to make rent till the lease was up. Now... I really have no clue what we're going to do. Let me know if you hear of ANYTHING that I may be able to do... And not just baking. I now have office skills as well.
I've calmed down for the moment. Later I will be crying and freaking out again. Right now I am numb and a little hurt. I've never been let go from any job before. This is a first. Branden tells me it's not a reflection on me or my work... It feels like it. With the mess from Unemployment, I'm not even sure if I can get any money that way, though I am trying.
I will be looking everywhere for a job and we will be moving... No questions asked, we will be moving. We already were going to be struggling to make rent till the lease was up. Now... I really have no clue what we're going to do. Let me know if you hear of ANYTHING that I may be able to do... And not just baking. I now have office skills as well.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)