Where Is My Christmas Spirit?

I am not really in the Christmas spirit this year. I'm trying really hard but I'm just not feeling it. I think it's the stress of work and the uncertainty of the future that's getting me down. Still, I'm doing all the things I normally do to get into the spirit of the holidays.

Three times I have worn the black and red striped "Happy Holidays" socks that Katie gave me. Today I wore BRAND NEW red, green, gray and black Christmas-y Argyle knee socks. I showed them off to people in hopes that I would feel more Christmas-y by feeling happy about my socks. It didn't work.

I was alone in the kitchen at work today so I tried singing Christmas carols while I made half-a-billion Christmas cookies... I ended up crying. I couldn't even sing "Let It Snow" without tears! The only song I could manage to sing without crying was the song that the Ghost of Christmas Present sings in Muppet's Christmas Carol. I was singing that at the top of my lungs when an expediter walked in from up front... It was a little embarrassing. Still no Christmas spirit.

I set up the Christmas tree and put on the blue and white lights, the silver and blue beads, glittery star and blue and silver bells all by myself. I made Branden help with the glittery blue and silver ornaments. (It's only a 3 ft tree so it doesn't need a lot.) Once again it looks a bit like Jack Frost vomited on my Christmas tree. I try to remember to turn on the lights each night and I like to look at it, but it's not helping either.

I baked cookies and made candy with my family. I've made and iced Christmas cookies at home with Branden. I've been to two awesome Christmas parties. I've admired lights as I've driven around. I've experienced the sights and smells and tastes of Christmas. And I've had lots of fun doing all of it. But I'm still just not spirited.

I have a VCR but it's not hooked up to a TV. Unfortunately, my only copies of Muppet's Christmas Carol and Mickey's Christmas Sing-Along are on VHS. I don't have any Christmas music and I don't go to the store often so I don't hear very much. Maybe the SOUNDS of Christmas would help.

Branden and I each wrapped Christmas presents and there are gifts under our tree. Ok, so they're actually on the ground around the platform that's holding the tree, but it's close enough. I have to wrap my gifts for my family. Maybe I'll do that now while I watch my non-politically correct Christmas cartoons- the ONLY Christmas DVD I own. It may not help but it probably won't hurt, either.