Married People CAN BE Happy People

It really bothers me when people tell me not to get married.

I'm pretty sure that all five of my readers know that Branden proposed on Halloween (2008) and I said yes. I have no regrets about this, nor do I anticipate regretting it in the future. I love him. He's my best friend and he treats me well most of the time. Yes, we have our ups and downs but even when we're fighting there's a part of me that always knows that he loves me, too. As frustrated as I can get with him, he's still the only person I wanna see at the end of a long day. He's not very good at comforting me but he's learning and he tries, which matters a lot to me. He rarely washes dishes or does laundry but he keeps my little car running and has been great about shoveling all the snow so I don't slip on my way into the house. I've accepted that he will drive me up the wall at times. He's accepted that I will do the same to him. We're not perfect people and I will, no doubt, look at other (more perfect) couples and wonder why we can't have things as good as they've got them. On the other hand, they might think the same of us... But that's kinda unlikely. The point is: Under normal circumstances we're happy together and there's no reason to believe that marriage will make us less than happy.

So why do people tell me all the time not to get married? It seems that quite a few people at my work are married to/live with people they don't like. I don't understand that. You liked them when you married/moved in together (didn't you?) and now, however many years later, you don't. Their combined opinion seems to be that you will tire of the person you are with and wish that you hadn't married them... Or at least that you could take some time and get away from them. But I know lots of happy couples and it seems like the people at my work must be the exception, not the rule. I'm aware of divorce rate statistics, etc, but it just seems that if you're both willing to work on a marriage it has the potential to stay happy forever. And if you're not willing to work and adapt together then your unhappiness has nothing to do with my potential happiness.

My parents have been married for over 30 years and they're happy. Admittedly, my dad has traveled quite a bit in those years, but that doesn't mean that my mom was sick of having him around when he was home or that the only reason they're still happy is because he was gone so much. I think they're happy IN SPITE OF the time apart. This year, my sister Bekkie will have been married to Joey for 11 years. They have their own problems but, it seems to me, they are basically happy. The same goes for my brother Allan and his wife Stacy whose seven-year wedding anniversary was just yesterday. Katie and Tyler have a marriage that I sometimes don't understand but it works for them and I haven't heard them voice any regrets about their choice to marry (three years ago next week). My other older sister, Carrie, is married to Gary and I can't imagine a better guy for her. I don't often hear from them, but I'm pretty sure that they still like being together.

When my immediate family provides so many examples of married couples who're not only making it, but HAPPILY making it, why should I listen to the nay-sayers? I look forward to married life. Yes, I know that things will change but I can't really imagine that living with Branden as a husband will be THAT different than living with him as a fiance. I imagine that I will still pick up his socks from the living room floor. I imagine that I will still make dinner and he will still eat it and tell me that it's good... Even when it's not that great. I imagine that he will still make a mess and then blame it on the cat. And I imagine that I will love him just as much, if not more, than I do at this moment.