Branden asked me a few minutes ago if I was ok because he thought I was acting sick. I'm not sick, I'm just stressed and a little depressed. Money troubles are really getting me down.
My job will be pretty slow and I'm not sure how many hours I'll be able to get this month. Add to that a mess with Unemployment that may result in my not receiving any help for the next FOURTY-NINE WEEKS and I'm not too happy. The crappy thing about that is they are trying to penalize me for going On Call at a part time job so I could go back to working my FULL TIME job. I didn't stop working there so I could collect more money from them, I did it so I could go back to working 40 hours a week at one job. I didn't even QUIT the job. No, I haven't worked there in nearly six months, but they haven't CALLED me, either. I still have the key and all the stuff I need to get in, etc, which I wouldn't have if I had quit. I went to ON CALL status because I had a full time job! I talked to a guy today and he said he'd put that in my file and they will decide my fate before business hours are up on Thursday. Great.
Branden is still on Unemployment and, if I don't get paid real money this coming month, what little he gets will pay our rent and leave us with a whopping $50. Oh yeah, and one of my school loan payments is going to start up again next month so I need to talk to someone and see if I can postpone that AGAIN. Seems like I'll never have the money to pay that off! Yes, I am stressed. Branden thinks I shouldn't stress and that I'll just make myself sick. He may be right, but he also doesn't have any solutions. He just says we'll make it work. How? He doesn't know. I just know that I will have to keep doing every odd job at work and picking up every minute that I can. If I can just bring home $500 this month- which is nowhere NEAR 40 hours a week- we should be able to pay the bills.
We have two more rent payments- April is already paid- before our lease is up. The goal is just to make it without breaking the lease. At that point we can figure out something else. That could mean moving to a cheaper house... That could also mean moving to a cheaper city or further. Or maybe this job that Branden has been offered- he won't start till the end of May- will be a good thing for us and moving to a cheaper house would be less a necessity and more a way to save a little money. We don't know right now.
And did I mention that my birthday is April 24th? I was hoping to do something fun- go out maybe- for my birthday but that doesn't seem likely and that's making me sad, too. :(
Sorry to dump so much here. I just need to get things off my chest and this is such a great place for that.
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