It's funny how music can bring back so many memories. I was just watching music videos to songs that I haven't managed to listen to in a long time and as I watched there was another music video playing in my head.
As if moments of my life were lived with a soundtrack and, to be honest, some parts of my life were. Certain music will always remind me of hanging out with Katie and Shay before Katie's senior year of high school. We never went anywhere without music playing- loudly- and half the time we were hoarse from singing along by the time we reached our destination. I remember the beginning of Milo and all the freedom we felt we had; Barefoot walks around the neighborhood and up the foothills; Betting on Crazy Eights; Gingerbread houses and Codge; "Stalking" boys; Long talks, late nights and hugs.
Some music will remind me of my first fiance and all the issues and all the hopes and the end. And, though I will never be sorry that he is no longer in my life, some of that music will make me a little sad for those days. The times that we'd stay up all night talking- Branden and I don't do that; The times that I waited excitedly for the phone call or the text message; Hanging out with Kerry, Amy and Brittney talking about boys and life and everything; Visiting Kerry at Hollywood Video and watching movies at her house until late at night; Learning to live on my own; My last semester of college. It's all there in the music... And sometimes I miss that.
Other music reminds me of the best roommates I ever had: Amy and Shay. I remember all the boys, all the dishes, all the concerts, all the late nights and all-nighters, all the laughter. Falling out of the tree at the cabin and having to hike my own butt back to the cabin because they are both so much shorter than me; Blowing up apples with Amy and nearly getting caught over and over; A living room with no couches, just LoveSacs; Guitar Hero until the wee hours of the morning; Visiting Kerry AND Amy at Hollywood Video and seeing all the new releases the weekend before they came out; Joshie Dye and Dave coming to hang out with us; Shay and Dave fighting over fresh bread; Nightmare-ish parking; Dee's at 1 AM; Dragging Amy, Shay and Rick out to steal lawn ornaments; Watching the sun rise from the North Ogden Cemetary; Chasing Amy's dog when I should have been decorating Katie's wedding cake... It's all there in the music as well.
Some songs remind me of the amazing younger brother who would drag me out of bed after he got off work Friday mornings and take me out to breakfast. Rick has always been a great guy and I'm reminded of all the good times we've had when I listen to that music. The hours spent talking about life and dating; Shopping for clothes with him and Katie so we could insure he looked the proper amount of hot; Sharing a closet wall with him when we lived with our cousins and watching movies while sitting on my bed; Late nights watching him play video games; Going to movies and just hanging out together. He even stayed up all night with me and helped me finish Katie's cake after I caught Amy's dog.
And yet more reminds me of living in Arizona. The long hot drives with my windows down to catch any breeze and my music helping me enjoy the trip; Driving home, exhausted, after school; Getting introduced to the city by Patrick; Hanging out with Sabre; Being incredibly homesick with no time for homesickness; Talking to Branden every night for almost six months; Kayla and Jill- the friends I hand-picked the first day of class and essentially didn't give a chance to say no; Michelle, Ashley and Maria- the friends who got me through the most; Shopping on my own and feeling so proud about stocking cupboards with no help from anyone else; The nights that I wished I had time/energy for roommates.
So many memories. And music brings it all back... And makes me cry a little. Because I miss my friends who all have their own lives and I miss the younger brother who used to hang out with me and now has a wonderful fiancee and I miss Katie- even though I see her almost every week- because things were never quite the same after we had a falling-out her senior year. And it doesn't make a lot of sense to miss those times. Except that they WERE really good times. Yes, we were lost in a grown-up world when we didn't feel ready to be grown (still don't) and we were poor and I distinctly recall crying in my parents' family room because I was sick with no money for medicine or food... But I get whistful when I hear those chords. Thankfully, there's newer music and it reminds me of Branden and love and happiness. I think I'll listen to a bit of that now.
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