A Blessing In Disguise

I will never write this with dry eyes so I may as well write it now and hope for the best.

Went to Ogden to celebrate Father's Day Sunday afternoon. The moment I pulled up to my parents' house and turned off my car, a hose that carries coolant from one part of my engine to another decided it was finished and began to spray antifreeze under my hood. Of course I heard it, saw the steam, saw the antifreeze dripping into the gutter and assumed the worst. My dad was good enough to come right out to look at it was able to find the leak quite quickly- while the antifreeze was still dripping out. Thankfully, it was a small hose at the top of the car so he figured that with the right tools he could get it off and we would go from there. He couldn't find the tools- apparently his tools walk off in the hands of others and never walk back- so I said I'd be willing to purchase a pair of pliers as I should probably keep some in my car anyway. But, being as how it was both Sunday afternoon and Father's Day, it was determined that I would spend the night at their house and we'd fix my car in the morning.

Sunday was to be the last time I'd see my dad before I leave for MO. As baly as I felt about my car deciding to break, I would purposely let it do the same thing again just so I could spend that time with him. Dinner was great but there were so many people, it was hard to get to talk to my dad. After dinner- and after some of my family had left- Katie, Mom, James, Chantelle, Jeremy(Chantelle's boyfriend) and I played a few games. Then Katie and Dad sat down for fun with Sudoku and Mom and I played Rummikub 'til it was time for Katie to leave. Dad took Katie home while Mom, James and Christina went to bed. This was when I really got time to talk to my dad. He came home and we sat at the kitchen table and talked until "far too late," according to him. We went to bed near 1 AM... And I will never regret the lost sleep.

Monday morning I ate breakfast with Mom and Christina then took Mom to work so we could have use of her car. As it turned out, there wasn't a load for my dad to take out until the afternoon so he and I were able to spend the morning together getting the tools, removing the hose, purchasing new parts and putting things back together. I was really only good for holding tools and keeping the sun out of Dad's eyes while he worked- I can make such good shadows! Dad got everything put back together and even secured my battery while he was under the hood. What a great Dad!

Katie came over with Josh and Dad picked up Mom so we could all eat lunch together. After lunch, Mom had to go back to work and Dad had to get ready to head off to work as well. In some ways it felt like all the Mondays I have spent over at their house in the last almost two years. But underneath that feeling was the knowledge that this wasn't one of those days. I gave Dad a hug good-bye just as I normally would but I didn't want to let go. When he walked out the door, I took a minute up in the bathroom to compose myself a little bit. When I walked back downstairs, there he was waiting for me to give him just one more hug, just one more time before he left. It was the first of all the hard good-byes I will have this week. I almost want to thank Bekkie for letting me say good-bye to her a couple weeks ago when she moved back to OK and thank Carrie for living in AZ so I don't have to tell her good-bye as well.

I cannot put a number on how much I love my dad. I can't tell you, "I love my dad 5," and have you say, "Oh, I know what you mean. I love my dad 5, too!" It doesn't work that way. But no matter if I can measure it or not, the love I feel for my dad makes it extra hard to say good-bye. I think my little sister, Chantelle, put it well when she told me, "It's hard to say good-bye to Dad because you know you are saying good-bye to a truly great man. Other dads are good, but our dad has to be one of the best." I can't argue with her. He's not perfect but he doesn't need to be. The respect he has for our mother is amazing. He has been willing to sacrifice for his wife and children time and again. Even his current job is a sacrifice he's making because he loves his family and wants to support them. He has helped me out with everything from fixing my car to moving to just letting me cry on his shoulder. I know that he worries about each and every one of us. And I knew, while I was crying on his shoulder yesterday, that this wasn't going to be any easier on him than it will be on me. See, my daddy can't put a number on how much he loves us, either.